You are viewing Allergic Living Canada | Switch to United States

Talking Allergies

* FAQ    * Search
* Login   * Register
It is currently Wed Dec 17, 2014 5:32 pm

All times are UTC - 4 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2014 3:40 pm 
Offline
Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6500
Location: Ottawa
I know how hard it is to convince others to give up their favorite recipes for traditional feasts. It got me thinking.... What do people say when they are facing a person with a terminal illness? "I wish that there was something that I could do or say..."

Well, anaphylaxis can be terminal. What can you do or say? Wash your hands... and stop with the eye rolling! I have been dealing with this for close to 13 years now and they WILL learn but it's slow. You deal 24/7. They deal maybe 3 hours/365. It's going to take them a while.

Surround yourself with those who love and respect you and for the rest, a simple, "Oh," and leave. You can explain why you left a day or two later. Less, drama and they aren't in a position to have to defend themselves.

If you stay with all the nuts put out, etc. and no one washes their hands. If they don't see a reaction, they are further convinced that it's no big deal. They don't see your emotions under your brave face!

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:25 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:26 pm
Posts: 419
_Susan_ wrote:
If you stay with all the nuts put out, etc. and no one washes their hands. If they don't see a reaction, they are further convinced that it's no big deal. They don't see your emotions under your brave face!


This! (x 1000)

My husband is my best advocate when we are at his family events. Most of them are just starting to understand a wee bit (after several years). There have been many events we walked in, they said/did something snarky/inappropriate about allergies, and we walked out. Less stress for me that way too. Nobody can enjoy themselves whilst in an unsafe environment.

Same goes when they make an accommodation (like removing those bowls of open nuts) and continuing to make negative comments/complaints about it. They didn't do it for the right reasons. Just leave.

It's an education principle that is proven to work: reward good behaviours and ignore the bad ones. Fighting negative behaviours adds attention to them, which only makes things worse. Heavily reward small progressions in the right direction. (Like buying a safe cupcake for you at a birthday party - and leaving it in it's original box for you to open.) They'll figure it out soon enough. Learning Theory 101.

_________________
anaphylaxis to tree nuts and peanuts; asthmatic, dairy intolerant, vegan
other family members allergic to to dairy, egg, peanut, peach, banana, sesame, environmentals


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 2 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 4 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group