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 Post subject: toddler stress
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 3:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:50 pm
Posts: 205
Location: Ontario, Canada
I'm looking for some feedback from other parents regarding behaviour changes in young children after severe allergic reactions. My almost 3 year old had a severe reaction last March ( just over 2 years old at the time). We spent 6 hours in Emergency which was a traumatic event in itself ( the woman beside us yelled "I'm dying" for about 2 hours). Shorthly after this event she stopped napping, became a very picky eater, and made a return back to diapers. Even more of a concern is that she used to be a very easy going, relaxed child. Now she has shown some aggressive behaviour, lots of tantrums, lots of non-compliance. Has anyone else been through this? If so, what kinds of things did you do to help your child through?

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daughter: 6 years tree nuts, peanuts


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:19 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 4:04 pm
Posts: 2044
Location: Gatineau, Quebec
I wish I could help. My youngest had a bad reaction when he was just past 2 years old and was quite clingy for week or so afterwards, but luckily that was about it. (Well, that and the lingering memory - he turns 6 tomorrow and he still remembers... Plus he's quite a fearful child, and I sometimes wonder if his allergies aren't partly to blame for that.)

I hope others have some insights for you. I do sympathize.

I guess if it were me and I didn't get any feedback from other parents, I would first use Google to see what I could find on helping children who have been traumatized. Then if that didn't help, I might consult a psychologist who specializes in that kind of things. Just some thoughts...

K.

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Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:24 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:21 am
Posts: 64
Location: Mississauga
When my daughter had her reaction she was just under 2 years old. She doesn't remember anything (thank goodness) but I would say for the next 2 weeks after that, just like Karen's experience she was VERY clingy, wanted to be held constantly.

Sorry couldn't be any more help.

Take care,

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7 year old daughter-Allergic to Peanuts/Nuts
6 year old son-No allergies
4 year old daughter-No allergies


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 5:32 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2006 1:05 pm
Posts: 528
Location: Burlington, Ontario
My 15 year old acted clingy after her reactions. She wanted to sleep with us and actually slept in her sister's room on the floor for a couple of nights after the second reaction. She just didn't want to be alone. So if an older child who can express herself can react that way, I can imagine that for a a little one who can't express him or herself it is certainly normal to feel out of sorts for a while.

However I do suspect a teeny bit of the terrible twos rearing its ugly head as well.... :lol:

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15 year old - asthmatic, allergic to cats, dogs, horses, waiting to be "officially" diagnosed for anaphylaxis
12 year old - asthmatic, allergic to tree pollen and mold, OAS
Husband - Allergic to amoxycillin
Self - Allergic to housework only


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 6:26 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:50 pm
Posts: 205
Location: Ontario, Canada
Yes, I do wonder how much is "terrible twos" . I just feel like there was such a dramatic change that seemed to start around the time of her reaction. Others have noticed the change as well. Sometimes I wonder if she lost trust in me.

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daughter: 6 years tree nuts, peanuts


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 9:34 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6479
Location: Ottawa
Our daughter was clingy and bossy after her reaction. Letting her see that we undestood her fears and that we worked to make her world safe seems to help. She told me she wanted me to buy new margarine-no problem I planned on it.
When her teachers kept offering her food she saw that we called the school and spoke to the principal. We gave her the tool "My parents won't let me" so that she didn't feel as if she was saying "No". They were after all authority figures.
Let her tell you as best as she can what her concerns are and try to work with her to address them.

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 7:00 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:53 pm
Posts: 1454
Location: Canada
Gem, I suspect that it isn't that your daughter has lost her trust in you . . . it's probably that she suddenly feels insecure about everything right now. After my most traumatic reaction, I really didn't feel like eating *anything* . . . I had to gag everything down. It isn't that I thought that I was going to react . . .it was more of an involuntary reaction.


Last edited by Helen on Mon Dec 04, 2006 12:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: toddler stress
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:06 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 3:29 pm
Posts: 218
Location: Ontario
gem wrote:
...she stopped napping, became a very picky eater, and made a return back to diapers. Even more of a concern is that she used to be a very easy going, relaxed child. Now she has shown some aggressive behaviour, lots of tantrums, lots of non-compliance. Has anyone else been through this?


You pretty much just described my daughter to a tee:) (with the exception of reverting back to diapers and she's always been a picky eater and I do think most of that is allergy related) She's almost 3. Her last major reaction was almost a year ago and I'm not sure how much of it she remembers. She did become clingy for a while afterwards though. Most of her aggressive behaviour, tantrums, non-complieance, etc is due to her age. I have a few friends with children around her age and many are going through or have just gotten over similar stages. I actually just told my husband that I think we'll see more of the troublesome threes then we had of the terrible twos!

Not sure if that helped any, but know that you're not the only one going through it.
J

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4ye old DD allergic to sesame, peanut, raw egg , and mulitple environmental & seasonal allergies

2 yr old DS -no known allergies!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 11:50 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2006 11:37 pm
Posts: 100
Location: Nova Scotia
I'm a firm believer in mother's instinct. I think the fact that you feel her behaiour is related to the incident 6 months ago, means that it very well could be related.

There may also be a little terrible-twos-and-threes mixed in, but maybe it's because the "terribleness" is the tool she has to express her insecurities or fears about what happened.
She has probably not lost trust in you, you're her mommy! But she may have lost trust in her world a bit?
I wonder if you could get a referral to a specialist who could help. Even if nothing comes of it, and she's just acting "normal" for her age, is there any harm in getting a professional opinion? Can't hurt.

_________________
6-yr old son: anaphylactic to peanuts; asthma
1-yr old daughter: No known allergies


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 2:30 am 
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Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2005 8:55 pm
Posts: 412
Location: Vancouver, BC
My boy's last reaction was 3 years ago when he was 6. He became very fearful and anxious, but now 3 years later, he is doing okay again. I really feel that anxiety is huge for our kids. I know for myself that his diagnosis made me really, really anxious for years after, and I know that now he is older, he has to think about it all the time in order to stay safe.

I know a little girl with diabetes and she handles it much better, she just accepts it and gets on with it, it never seems to upset her and she doesn't let it stand in her way, even though she deals with some of the same things - she can't eat treats at school without it becoming a big hassle (we have to figure out the carbs, how many bites she's eaten etc, etc. she has to wear a pouch with her supplies and she has a pump). They did two studies, one comparing kids with diabetes to kids with LTA's and one comparing kids with muscular dystrophy to kids with LTA's and in both studies the kids with LTA's were more anxious then the others. My son does not want others to know of his LTA's, he's self conscious of his pouch.

I tried to get him help, but he wasn't a good fit for what was available. He was either too young, or the group was for kids who had anxiety disorders and the doctor said his anxiety was appropriate, given the circumstance. It makes it hard though, he can be very moody and irritable and I think it is cos he worries.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 2:29 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 05, 2006 1:05 pm
Posts: 528
Location: Burlington, Ontario
I think that with any kind of anxiety problems, you have to keep emphasizing the positive. Yes, you may be allergic, but you have tools to deal with: you know wich food to avoid, you know you can't share foods, forks, spoons or straws. And if you do have an allergic reaction, you have your epi-pen, you can deal with it. The epi-pen doesn't hurt that much at all (according to my daughter who is a big chicken when it comes to needles so you can use that as an example to convince them not to be scared of the epi-pen :lol: ).

When you let them know that they have the tools to deal with it and if you keep telling them that it happens very rarely (that's a statement that has helped me a lot), it helps them be reassured and teaches them to reassure themselves.

I'm afraid of flying so when we do fly, I have to do a lot of self-talk, like thousands of people fly everyday without any problems, etc. Same idea.

_________________
15 year old - asthmatic, allergic to cats, dogs, horses, waiting to be "officially" diagnosed for anaphylaxis
12 year old - asthmatic, allergic to tree pollen and mold, OAS
Husband - Allergic to amoxycillin
Self - Allergic to housework only


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