Talking Allergies

One time we offered to bring the cake as the birthday present itself, and the mom loved that idea. Given that both my sons were attending, we gave one traditional present, and made the cake as the second present.

The other time, it was close friends, and they were so anxious to make sure my kids were included that they were also happy to have us provide the cake.

I totally agree that it all depends on a lot of factors, including how well you know the people and what degree of control they want over the food that is served.

I don't automatically say that I have to bring the cake - I offer up a variety of approaches, including bringing cupcakes for my own kids, buying a safe cake, or making a safe cake - and then see what appeals to the other parents.

K.

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Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma

This is a big issue for kids. One mom told me she once cried in a bathroom at a party because her son was crying because he didnt understand why he couldnt have the cake.

Surely, their are worse things in life. But the focal point of the birthday party *is* the cake. And when everybody is ooohing and ahhing over it, and passing it around and you're 7 years old sitting there with your "dumb cupcake" (as my son calls it), its hard!

In my extended family and even in with our neighbors, I always bring the cake--for everyone--no matter who the party is for. I have actually learned how to rock a pretty cool milk-wheat-egg-peanut-treenut free cake. Gourmet magazine has not been hunting me down for recipes yet, but they are covered in sugary dairy-free icing and lots of colorful peanut free candy so the kids are happy.

If *we* (still a *we* as my son is 7, and quite impulsive) are attending a party, I call ahead and ask the hostess what she is serving to eat, drink, and what kind of cake and candy will be there. I then go to town making reasonable substitutes. I always come "packin" with extras though because menus change and even things that "should" be safe (like lemonade) sometimes turn out to be Kiwi lemonade or the Italian ice that they said they would serve has morphed into Dairy Queen ice cream.

If there is a pinata I'll offer to contribute some safe candy ahead of time but often the hostess will just ask what is safe and typically will include some of these. Its quite an ordeal but I feel there must be bonus points in this somewhere for me, right?

Take care,
Gina

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Gina
Mom to 6yr old mfa's milk,wheat,egg,peanut,treenut,sesame
www.allergymoms.com

Gina wrote-
Wow! What a teachable moment.

I think that whatever the decision is, either to attend or not, the child should be aware of what is going to happen and to what extent they can participate.

My daughter is always made aware of what will take place, how much she can interact and my she can or can't have a certain food.

We bake a lot and she can always have her cake and eat it too at home. She isa very cautious child and I don't think she ever wants to take a chance to eat the "real" cake.
We make similar foods and bring them along. Sometimes we make a more special cupcake-(did I mention how competative I am?). Let me tell you that it is very difficult to frost a cupcake to look like a mermaid...it's getting the fleshtone right using regular food colouring .

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb

Can you post your recipe in the Recipe section, pretty please? I'm hosting a small reunion for my university class in a few weeks (easier to host than to worry about food sometimes, especially with many young kids)... and I want to show off how well you can eat and how tasty food can be in spite of allergies!

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Me - Kim - No allergies
DH Ben - 31 - Allergic to nuts and peanuts, lots of environmental allergies.
DD Anne - 4 - Asthma. Allergic to dairy, eggs, mustard, kiwi, peanuts, wheat and barley... for now...
DS Francois - 1 - No allergies so far...

It depends on if you are looking for a recipe for kids or adults. One of my favorties is Cybele Pascals Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cupcakes. I cant post her recipe but she did let me use it in one of my newsletters. Here is a link to the newsletter--the recipe is at the bottom.

http://tinyurl.com/2wmsor

Pamela's Products and Miss Roben (www.allergygrocer.com) both made delicious chocolate cake mix.

The Cravings Place and CherryBrook Kitchen both make fantastic brownie mixes.

These are all easy and can be done without milk, wheat or eggs.

In my experience cupcakes turn out much better than cakes. Even when making browines, I like to use cupcake pans (and of course reduce baking time significantly)

The brownies are dense and fudgey.

If you havent done a lot of gluten free baking, I'd start with a mix. Otherwise, you can try Cybele's recipe.

Take care,
Gina

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Gina
Mom to 6yr old mfa's milk,wheat,egg,peanut,treenut,sesame
www.allergymoms.com

Hello, My now 9 year old son has attended his share of birthday parties. He used to always bring a cupcake and has never really been upset about not eating the cake. For him, its simply a fact of life. He is a relatively cautious child who will not take chances. He will say he isn't hungry if he isn't sure about something. Now, I find the parents to be even better informed now than a few years ago. At one party, the mom had bowls fulls of safe chocolate bars so while the kids had the store bought cake, he had as many chocolate bars as he wanted (I never did ask how many he ate) and bowls of safe treats (chips, etc). I think I would feel uncomfortable about asking to bake the cake for the hostess as she/he might have specific plans for the cake (making sure there are alternatives is important though but ultimately I must provide them). I also think it depends on the allergy as I don't have to deal with dairy or eggs. I must admit I have never encountered a situation where they had peanuts in bowls or pinatas with peanuts. The pinata idea isn't very big around here. Also, they rarely make crafts at boys' parties and I have learned the hard way that most of them don't really appreciate it (OK, so 8 year old boys don't really want to decorate their own party hats.

My second child has no allergies (cross fingers) and I must admit it sooooo much easier. She went to a party yesterday and I didn't even have to have "the talk" with the hostess.

I was trying to see if I could post images on this post of some of the cakes I have made over the years using round cake molds (rabbit, race car track in a figure eight) or pyrex bowls (ladybug, teapot) or there is even a sailboat made with a square pan but was unsuccessful. You can usually find these ideas on the web and then can modify to use your own (safe) ingredients and you don't have to use the fancy cake molds. My kids are usually quite excited about this.

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Jacqueline Labossière-Jager
Stittsville, ON

son - born 1998, allergy to peanut, nuts, sesame, shellfish and kiwi; a bunch of allergies to plants, animals, etc. and asthma
daughter - born 2003, no known allergies

I recently made an allergen-free 9x13 rectangle cake (no nuts, no egg, no soy and no dairy from the Allergy Survival Guide recipe book) for my husband's birthday so that everyone in our family could eat it. It was a Princess Ariel cake (my daughter's choice) iced with just icing sugar, water, canola oil and colouring (using small paintbrushes). We only ate about a quarter of it on the night of his birthday and I froze the rest. It froze really well and I was able to provide my son with a nice big slice for a party at his daycare. He was really excited about having his own slice instead of the usual cupcake - so that might be an idea for kids who are getting tired of the usual "dumb cupcake".

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Son 7 yrs: Anaphylactic to eggs, milk, fish, peanuts, tree nuts and allergic to soy, animals & environmental + Asthma.
Daughter 9 yrs: No allergies!
Me: Allergic to animals & environmental.
Hubby: Allergic to deer, horse flies & bees.

OK, Gina, Gourmet may not come calling - or Martha Stewart's Living either but Allergic Living is bound to come calling now that we now you're an allergy-friendly birthday baking machine.

Thanks everybody for giving us good ideas for the article. Definitely helpful.

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Allergic to soy, peanut, shellfish, penicillin

One small thing (not to be a downer!) but I have felt awful twice in the last year - we had 2 extremely understanding families go to significant lenth to make their parties safe for my daughter - not an easy task and includes extra expense. They said i would make them feel better to have her fel safe (do I love them or what?) and... she ended up with a fever and we couldn't go... The "regular" kids had fun anyway, but I felt badly on many levels.

We have also been to all types of parties with different levels of safety - we soundly follow our family intuition and decide case by case basis (even considerations of how far is the closest hospital come in to play). Even once we decide to attend (sometimes with cake in tow, sometimes just her own 2-3 cupcakes just in case one falls to the floor or gets spilled on) we still watch and follow our intuition. We've found that our "safe goodies" list which I have provided to a few friends and the care centre has circulated and the trend seems to be to have her safe treats in loot bags - a pleasant surprise. Of course our family rule is nothing gets opened or consumed before mom or dad read the label.
We have left early with either mild allergy symptoms or plain discomfort with the event but can do so gracefully. In my book, people who try to get it will be just as eager to talk when you are RSVP'ing as we are and that always boosts our confidence. That said, I envision being the bday party helper for years to come (so far it works as kids seem to enjoy me being a kid with them). When the time is right (she no longer wants me there) we will definitely be MUCH more selective about where she can go alone and plan to do everything in advance (like refresh with expired epis or a trainer). When that time comes, you can bet I will be at a local coffee shop or something where I am minutes away and have excellent cell coverage...

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renie
daughter: ana for egg, sesame, dairy, pistachio/cashew/hazelnut. allergic on contact. allergic to soy protein isolate. other lesser allergies (e.g. dogs, dust mites). well controlled asthma. eczema.
son: p-p-p-p-peanuts

I'll be a mommy-stalker for many years.

Have you ever read the book "I'll love you forever"
http://tinyurl.com/2nuy96

It's a cute book that kind of goes to the edge of motherly love in that it shows the mom on a ladder--at the adult son's window! I tease my boys that they'll see my face in their window like that. Hopefully they'll be a cure/treatment before then!

Take care,
Gina

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Gina
Mom to 6yr old mfa's milk,wheat,egg,peanut,treenut,sesame
www.allergymoms.com

That's a great Robert Munsch book - and it's Canadian!

I used to read it to my kids all the time.

K.

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Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma