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PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:25 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:38 pm
Posts: 16
Location: Ontario
I promise I won't always post so much ... it's just such a relief to be back here.

On Thursday a wonderful dear friend's son will be doing his peanut challenge & is expected to pass - which is fantastic news! I know she is so excited for the chance to have peanut butter etc. again. She is the person who helped me into the world of allergy as her son was dx'd as PA (skin test), gave me their epi carrier when his skin test was negative (which happened to be the same day we got our allergic dx and perscription for the epi).

I am also hoping & praying for the pass for them. At the same time, I feel sad for us, that I don't have much expectation of us outgrowing our allergies ... and now I feel more alone here in allergy land. It was a bit hard when we were discussing it & she was sharing their plans for going to the Thai restaurant in town to celebrate a few days after - just a pang of the heart, that I'm sure you all will understand.

I realize my feelings are about me & our situation, and not at all about this amazing friend and her family. It just stirs up all the self-pity again, the fears for my child, the feeling like we won't ever be able to lightheartedly go out to any restaurant we choose. My acceptance and appreciation of the silver linings has been shaken. I just feel a bit more alone, afraid and sad. Totally not logical!

Andie

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DS: 3.5 yo, tree nuts, egg, fish


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:18 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
Hi Andie, don't worry about posting too much. Posting about what is happening and how you and your family is coping...that's what we're all about. We have all been there or soon will be there. You can't imagine how helpful it is to have someone vocalize that which you are feeling.

It sounds like you have a wonderful friend who has helped you during the difficult early period of a food allergy diagnosis and you are concerned that she and her family will move on and you will be alone with no supports, no one who truly gets it.

I think it's great that you are truly happy for her and her son. You are a good friend. Yes, they may celebrate this mile stone but I don't think a peanut will come in the way of your friendship. Once her initial relief is over, she will still be there to offer her wisdom.

I might suggest that you develop this friendshiop beyond the allergies. If the children are of similar ages you could have playdates, if her son is older he may be a good candidate for a babysitter soon, he would be allergy aware.

Who knows, your son may someday have a challenge of his own and you will want her to tell you what to expect.

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 10:48 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:38 pm
Posts: 16
Location: Ontario
Hi Susan,

Thanks for your reply. I've been reading so much here the last few days my head is spinning!

I've kind of got over the hump (I think spending so much time here has gotten my spirits back up again) and am ready to celebrate the allergy-free status that my wonderful friend & her son have attained! We became friends when our little guys were first newborns and we've seen each other through many ups & downs over the past 3.5 years - definitely a friend I hope to stay close to.

I'm lucky to have a great allergy support group nearby (in Mississauga) so I do know other real-life people with allergies & allergic children. That is such a blessing. I wouldn't say I'm that close with any of them yet (we live in different communities) but it is so comforting to have a group you can meet face to face, trade tips and restaurants and war stories with.

Even though her son has outgrown his allergy, I know my friend "gets it" in a way that most people don't. She has also told me the thing that has made me feel the most "powerful" in this situation of dealing with allergy. We are both foodies and I tell her every time I "conquer" a new recipe to make it egg-free (nut-free & fish-free). one time when I was sharing a triumph she just shook her head and said "you are kicking some serious egg-allergy butt!" :D For some reason those words stick with me and make me feel great even when this situation isn't so fun.

Thanks so much for your support, understanding and listening ear. I really needed that and it's helped me get back out into that better place.

Andie

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DS: 3.5 yo, tree nuts, egg, fish


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