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 Post subject: family dinner!
PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:40 am
Posts: 423
Location: Alberta, Canada
Why do I have to keep explaining?? :shock: These people are caring and smart but why do I have to keep saying that NO I CANNOT eat the ham and it is not because i am being picky. I am fine if pork is being served, I will bring a bit of chicken or what ever. I just hate to hear "I thought I would make a ham but you won't eat that" !!!! I said yes that is right the allergist thinks that is a very bad idea since I am allergic to it.!! I prefer not to have any reactions, Thank you very much. I don't get it her husband is ana to coconut and tree nut (he can have peanuts) I can understand friends who do not live with allergies, they would need explaining but this is getting old. So I may just raise my wine glass and make a toast (allergy free) " to family".

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Me-Allergic to Peanut, Tree Nut, Coconut, Shellfish, ASA and Asthma
My Husband and Children No Allergies


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6455
Location: Ottawa
:roll: It's really hard when your mother doesn't get it. It's especially hard when they seem to get other peoples allergies. My friend is going through this. Her mother who bought new cake pans so she could bake a birthday cake that my daughter could partake in has served her her allergen 2-3 times.

I don't know if they forget because these allergens are outside the top 8 or if it's something about your child having a life threatening condition that causes a certain percentage of the population to go into denial.

You may just have to give her the "No pork, eh?" speach when you accept the invite and beat her to it. The opposite of reactive is proactive. :)

It's not like it's the only meat around!

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:29 am 
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Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 4:27 pm
Posts: 300
Location: Montreal
Paige, not that it solves the issue but I TOTALLY feel you on this one. I've also had to deal with an uncle and his wife who have made jokes saying things like, "where are the peanuts?" or "did you eat any peanuts today?"....all this not long after my brother had 2 allergic reactions while in Italy for their wedding so we were still traumatized. It never ceases to amaze me how people can act so insensitively even though I'm sure deep down they mean no harm. But there's just no excuse. If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all....has no one ever heard this? Geez...there are so many more interesting topics than food and allergies you would think they would try something new once in a while!
So I get it. And there have been tons of times when I've been in the same situation as you although not with my mother. But it hurts because it's family and you feel like they should, out of anyone, be the ones to look after you and be understanding. Oh well....one day it will all sink in. In the meantime, let's admire what good qualities we develop as we learn to deal with all of these tricky situations: discipline, determination, wittiness, strength, cooperation, and A LOT of patience.
I think these things would still bother me a lot if I hadn't taken up yoga...totally works for me!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 5:10 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:40 am
Posts: 423
Location: Alberta, Canada
Just getting ready to go for dinner. My mother in law has made comments such why I will not eat a cinnamon bun on the same plate as ones that have crushed walnuts, and are made in some bakery! I know for her she just plain does not understand. I give on that one love her dearly but I have to look out for myself. But It is my sister in law that I think should understand, as I said her husband is ana to nuts. Just because it is more than nuts I guess it does not seem real. I have better things to do than to carry my own chicken to family dinners and make it all up!! It has only been about ten years that pork has been removed from my diet and I loved it before. So to make me feel like I am being picky (when I would love to eat it) just gets me. I know on another family gathering I may just let this slide off my back but it just gets so annoying.

Thanks for letting me grumble. It is so much easier than when I was younger but I still have to have a pitty party every once in a while. The problems are not so much what can I eat, I manage that (too well :oops: ) it is always eating out at a restaurant or someones house where the problems are. Those last min. times when someone will say how about lunch lets meet here or there. When it is a group setting I have said sorry I can't make it, sometimes it is just easier not to go than to have to deal with an ethnic restaurant or a difficult menu.
Time to go!

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Me-Allergic to Peanut, Tree Nut, Coconut, Shellfish, ASA and Asthma
My Husband and Children No Allergies


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