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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 11:03 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:25 pm
Posts: 233
Location: Winnipeg
I'm feeling a little blue today. I had sent an e-mail out to my general acquaintance asking them to participate in yesterday/this morning's fax blitz for bill M-210. I was surprised and disappointed to receive a response from a parent of one of my sons' kindergarten friends stating all of the reasons why she didn't think this bill was necessary. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I was saddened because I felt that the tone of the e-mail reflected many of the misperceptions and stereotypes out there about people with allergies (or with children who have allergies)...namely that we're a bunch of whiners making too big of a deal out of our problems, and infringing on the rights of others as we do so. I sent back a carefully worded reply, in which I tried to educate her a little about anaphylaxis.
But i still feel angry and sad, and I just needed to vent about it. :(

_________________
1 son allergic to eggs, peanuts, green peas, chick peas, lentils and tomatoes
(avoiding tree nuts and most other legumes too)
1 son allergic to eggs, and has outgrown peanuts
Both with many environmental allergies, asthma and eczema


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 2:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:25 pm
Posts: 233
Location: Winnipeg
I just got another e-mail from the same person, suggesting that kids with anaphylaxis should have their own schools :shock: !!!
I don't even know how to respond to that, I'm so mad.

She also said that she sends whatever she feels like in her kids lunches, and that it's not her responsibility to worry about whether or not it may harm someone else's child. :evil: :cry: :evil:

I had no idea she felt this way, and I've known her for 2 years.

_________________
1 son allergic to eggs, peanuts, green peas, chick peas, lentils and tomatoes
(avoiding tree nuts and most other legumes too)
1 son allergic to eggs, and has outgrown peanuts
Both with many environmental allergies, asthma and eczema


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 3:04 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 12:17 pm
Posts: 250
Location: Niagara region, Ontario
What a selfish woman!! My thoughts about such a person are to let them know that anaphylaxis could affect her children too. They would be traumatized to see another child whisked off in an ambulance or possibly die because they had eaten a peanut butter sandwich (or whatever the allergen is). Perhaps if she doesn't want to protect other children, this would appeal to her selfish nature. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a person.

Soccermom


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 3:25 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 18, 2007 11:43 pm
Posts: 24
Location: Vancouver, BC
On the bright side, at least you found out this person is untrustworthy around your child.

_________________
8 year old: dairy, seafood, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, cats, dust; asthma
4 year old: dairy, eggs, soy, peas, lentils, cats
4 year old: dairy, eggs


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:39 pm
Posts: 2943
Location: Toronto
I'd say - consider the source. Try to shake it off and don't let her get to you.

I can't stand people who are this selfish about their own children. What sort of example does this set for her child/children? If she thinks having to adjust the menu for a lunchbox is such a hardship, well, she really should grow up. We're talking about a sandwich, lady.

A caring society does take care of others. That's the whole premise, for instance, of medicare, our big sacred cow. I'm sure she wouldn't deny your children health care if they were anaphylaxing, but trying to prevent such a crisis from arising seems to be too much of a nuisance.

I don't know that you can try to talk sense into such a person. But take heart and consider that she is NOT the norm. Just look how many people are starting to get how serious food allergies are. Look at all the groups - parent councils, teachers, support staff - who are supporting an anaphylaxis law in B.C. They do get the risk.

If one or two ignorant people want to dismiss at-risk students or their parents as "whiners," I'd try to ignore it and not engage with her too much, and focus on the bigger and more positive picture. At least you know what she's like now!

_________________
Allergic to soy, peanut, shellfish, penicillin


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 5:59 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2006 11:58 pm
Posts: 275
Location: on my pc in cp
maybe it should be the children of parents who are not aware of other people's medical problems who should go to "special schools" where they are taught to respect and tollerate other people since they're clearly not going to learn it from their own parents.

_________________
allergies - penicillin, benadryl, dust mites, enviornmental & chemical
conditions - dermatographism, eczema, well contorolled asthma
dietary - lactose intollerant, vegatarian


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:18 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 16, 2005 12:09 am
Posts: 1054
twinmom, how hurtful.
If you've known her for 2 years, she must know of your children's allergies, right? I'm a little speechless at how someone can be so insensitive. We all know where comments like that stem from - I know it doesn't make hearing them any easier... Let's look on the brighter side -- I agree that knowing how she truly feels about children with FA lets you know not to let your sons around her. Be grateful that you know her true feelings and what she is truly like. Keep your chin up, focus on the people in your lives who care for you and show you compassion and support! Like us!! :D


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 9:41 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2005 6:48 pm
Posts: 614
Location: Ontario, Canada / Cambridge, UK
twinmom,

Sorry to hear about the upsetting emails. Perhaps this woman would be interested in reading this letter from a non FA parent:

http://www.allergicliving.com/forum/vie ... php?t=1958

_________________
16-year-old son: peanuts, nuts, raw egg whites, asthmatic
Self: allergic rhinitis, fragrance/chemical sensitivities, oral allergy syndrome


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 10:46 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:25 pm
Posts: 233
Location: Winnipeg
I actually did send her a copy of that letter as part of my response.

I am just absolutely astounded that another mom could be so uncaring about children. And we're not even talking a hypothetical situation here. She knows my children, and she knows about their allergies...yet she would put them in harm's way rather than be inconvenienced. It just blows my mind.

Thanks for all of the support. I needed it today. I have come across people with negative attitudes about allergies before, but for some reason this one really stung.

_________________
1 son allergic to eggs, peanuts, green peas, chick peas, lentils and tomatoes
(avoiding tree nuts and most other legumes too)
1 son allergic to eggs, and has outgrown peanuts
Both with many environmental allergies, asthma and eczema


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 6:53 pm
Posts: 1454
Location: Canada
Wow--yeah, I'd find that upsetting coming from someone I knew.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 7:52 am 
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Joined: Fri Jan 13, 2006 3:29 pm
Posts: 218
Location: Ontario
That's too bad. I'm sorry you had to hear that from somone you know. One would hope that friends and family would easily ralley behind you in a time of need, especially when it's to help keep kids safe.

Hugs to you.
J

_________________
4ye old DD allergic to sesame, peanut, raw egg , and mulitple environmental & seasonal allergies

2 yr old DS -no known allergies!


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 11:15 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:29 pm
Posts: 192
Location: Ohio
There are a few teens who rant a tthe fact that my daughter has signed up for activities in the youth group because they know they wont get pizza. Her friends stick up for her and understand but it doesn't make her feel any better that there are those people out there who just DON'T care. That these people who know her and have known her for years and had been her friends would still eat pizza in her face and cause to go to the emergancy room.

_________________
Karen in Ohio mom of 7
Allergic to tons and tons of food as well as perfumes, scented air sprays and cleaners. Hubby to Fish, ds #2 Shellfish, youngest to Eggplant, potato, Caesin, Raw Tomato & spinach.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 12:53 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 4:04 pm
Posts: 2044
Location: Gatineau, Quebec
Twinmom - I'm so sorry that this selfish uncaring woman has gotten to you. I know that it's hard not to take it personally. I like what all the others have said about focussing on the positive and not engaging this person too much.

In my opinion, some people got an overdose of the selfish gene at birth and too little of the empathy gene, and they really have to experience life with severe allergies before they understand it. It is hard to imagine that someone with children of their own would have that kind of attitude, but unfortunately we all know that they exist.

Definitely try to focus on all the good people out there, and don't let this bad apple get you down too much.

Big hugs,

K.

_________________
Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2007 12:54 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2005 4:04 pm
Posts: 2044
Location: Gatineau, Quebec
P.S. Momofhalfadozen - I'm sorry that some of your daughter's friends/acquaintances are being such poops as well!!! I'm glad that she has friends to stick up for her...

K.

_________________
Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma


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