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 Post subject: Relatives
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 4:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2007 8:11 pm
Posts: 20
Just venting here
I dont know how to get the message to my mother in law
she just doesnt get it
she turned up today with rocky road she had made
she said oh dont worry i made daughters without the peanuts in it.
But she had brought it all in the one container - just put daughters to the side of container.
I explained how she wouldnt be able to have it and could she please leave the rest in the car as we dont have nuts in the house.
We have shown her videos, we have told her it could kill daughter to come into contact with nuts. But she still doesnt get it
And she wonders why we never let her babysit


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2006 11:58 pm
Posts: 275
Location: on my pc in cp
that's really tough when people just don't get it i can't even imagine what my family would be like if i had life threatening allergies cause they don't get the ones i already have and then wonder why they never see me

_________________
allergies - penicillin, benadryl, dust mites, enviornmental & chemical
conditions - dermatographism, eczema, well contorolled asthma
dietary - lactose intollerant, vegatarian


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:33 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6475
Location: Ottawa
Oh kathi! I guess she tried but really doesn't understand cross contamination. It takes some people a lifetime to understand.
Good for you to stand up for your no nuts in the home rule.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:43 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:50 pm
Posts: 205
Location: Ontario, Canada
We have the same issue with the in-laws. I think they feel we are overprotective. We don't let them babysit either and it has become an issue.

_________________
daughter: 6 years tree nuts, peanuts


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 10:46 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6475
Location: Ottawa
We had a similar situation with my in-laws when our daughter was younger. It really took them a long time to figure it out. They finally got it when my husband had to tell them to figure it out because the next time they messed up was the last time that I would let her visit them. (still not sure what exactly he told them but he got the seriousness across)

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 12:17 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:29 pm
Posts: 192
Location: Ohio
Our Daughter goes to my parents house sometimes in the summer and last summer with out a thought my mom cooks my dad a grilled cheese. Daughter started wheezing and then got a whiff of the cheese and ran out of their house. :roll: They gave her some money and she walked down tot he store but ug... it just gets me.

_________________
Karen in Ohio mom of 7
Allergic to tons and tons of food as well as perfumes, scented air sprays and cleaners. Hubby to Fish, ds #2 Shellfish, youngest to Eggplant, potato, Caesin, Raw Tomato & spinach.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:57 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 10:02 am
Posts: 116
Location: Gatineau
I'm in the same boat. I have an aunt that is lovely in every other way, and ought to understand because one of her grandchildren (only 7 yrs old) is peanut/wheat allergic. Oh no! Every time we go there, she has nuts in bowls and passes them around (and we go several times a year), adds nuts to salads that could easily be done without them, etc. My cousin (the allergic child's mother and the aunt's daughter) is naturally concerned about other nuts as well and cross-contamination. She told me that the other day my aunt gave the child some trail mix with almonds and said "see? she's not allergic to ALL nuts". Just crazy.

I was at a party with my boyfriend's family, where there is another allergic child. I guess a bit of a fight broke out before I got there because the host insisted on leaving the shrimp ring out and having bowls of cashews. It's really sad when people's lives are put in danger by people who really ought to know better. I tend to think it's a control issue - people (somehow, only women in my experience) have a hard time letting someone else interfere with how they run their kitchen/parties. As if we do it on purpose!

_________________
ana to peanuts, nuts, eggs, shellfish, bananas
mild asthma and eczema, seasonal allergies


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:22 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:29 pm
Posts: 192
Location: Ohio
Some people won't believe until it happens in front of them. Like my nurse at the hospital and maybe your Aunt. I know my parents always down play things.

_________________
Karen in Ohio mom of 7
Allergic to tons and tons of food as well as perfumes, scented air sprays and cleaners. Hubby to Fish, ds #2 Shellfish, youngest to Eggplant, potato, Caesin, Raw Tomato & spinach.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 9:45 am 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6475
Location: Ottawa
Quote:
Daughter started wheezing and then got a whiff of the cheese and ran out of their house. They gave her some money and she walked down tot he store but ug... it just gets me.

Karen, I am shocked! When your daughter s having trouble breathing, th last thing she needs is to be sent away.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:50 am 
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Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2007 3:29 pm
Posts: 192
Location: Ohio
Yes I know, people do't get it. I started having trouble breathing in the hospital and they gave me a wet rag. :twisted:

_________________
Karen in Ohio mom of 7
Allergic to tons and tons of food as well as perfumes, scented air sprays and cleaners. Hubby to Fish, ds #2 Shellfish, youngest to Eggplant, potato, Caesin, Raw Tomato & spinach.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 6:39 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 6:50 pm
Posts: 205
Location: Ontario, Canada
My mother in-law announced that she doesn't believe my daughter is "that allergic" and handed us a basket of nut-filled treats again this year.

_________________
daughter: 6 years tree nuts, peanuts


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:34 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 11:39 pm
Posts: 1141
Location: saskatchewan, canada
My MIL came over on the 23rd to drop off gifts. I will not go to her house. She is just plain rediculous. She always has to have her traditional baking out...so that means no allergy accomidations. I even have offered to bring all baking, but that's not tradition. So she's telling me a story about how she made a new square and it does not have peanut butter in it. . I was curious...was she suddenly thinking about having a safer holiday spread? No. Her husband doesn't like PB so she made it for him...he's eaten half already. Then she adds "I like to make everything with PB so he does not eat it before christmas and there is enough for the guests on christmas day". :evil: :evil: :evil:

Then she expects my husband to ditch us and go to her house "to be with his family" on boxing day. :evil:

So I spent the evening coming up with my little revenge. Her, sitting in a nursing home in 10- 20 years while christmas is at my place and I won't drive across town to pick her up because christmas without her is our tradition. :D

_________________
DD age 9 1/2 -peanuts, nuts,
DD age 7 1/2 - milk, eggs, chicken, peanuts, treenuts, cats, dogs,
DS age 2 1/2
Husband- asthma, eggs, treenuts, fish, shellfish environmental
Self - penicillan, eurithromiacin, mild laytex allergy.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:12 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6475
Location: Ottawa
I thought I'd bump up this thread so we can prepare ourselves. Some family members don't understand, others refuse to listen.

Maybe we can come up with some snappy comebacks in advance of the onslaught of allergens.

What can we say to the grandmother who insists on putting peanuts on the coffee table (just as an example)?

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:57 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:39 pm
Posts: 2948
Location: Toronto
Timely bump, Susan.

We just today launched our new poll about relatives.
You can vote (anonymously :wink: ) here: http://www.allergicliving.com/quickpoll/

_________________
Allergic to soy, peanut, shellfish, penicillin


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:52 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 4:27 pm
Posts: 300
Location: Montreal
We try to use humour in my family because some of them are real jokers so it helps drive the point home better. Unfortunately, we've had a couple bad experiences so we don't always feel like joking about it anymore. Thankfully they pretty much all "get it" although there are a couple who seem to take things personally instead of trying to understand that it is about my brother and my health and not about them.
I agree, a list of snappy comebacks is a great idea although I've never been good at them so I'd love anyone's ideas...I'm definitely a "hindsight is 20/20" type of person and think of awesome comebacks after the moment is over!

_________________
Associate Editor at Allergic Living.
Allergies to all nuts and legumes except soy and green beans.


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