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 Post subject: How would you respond?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 12:07 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
At work today we were joking around about a teacher who is treating some grads to lunch and I suggested they go to a very expensive restaurant. The teacher then said in front of some students "Sure, Mrs. 'walooet' will treat you and when you go you can eat peanuts in her car."

How does my joking with a co-worker about a restaurant have any relevance to endangering my daughter? And she said it in front of students as though this was soooo funny!

I was so shocked that I could not even believe she said it. I would like to say something to her tomorrow but I don't even know what to say to that ignorance...

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:03 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:45 pm
Posts: 799
Location: Vancouver, BC
Yikes, that's pretty awful. Maybe she took offense to your suggesting she pay the tab at an expensive restaurant and that was her way of 'getting you back'? Maybe just take her aside and say that you can take a joke about most other things, but not about your daughter's safety, and what she said is not funny, and could cause others to take the allergies more lightly? Good luck!

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DD 2004 Allergy to peanuts, egg, sesame, and new: lentils and chick peas
DS 2006 Allergy to peanuts, tree nuts, milk, egg, kiwi fruit, eczema


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 6:53 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6456
Location: Ottawa
Yes, I would politely let her know that jokes on that topic are out of bounds.

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:19 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
Alison's Mom wrote:
say that you can take a joke about most other things, but not about your daughter's safety, and what she said is not funny, and could cause others to take the allergies more lightly


You just summed it up very well! Thank you.

It has been a difficult year working with that teacher and I have found many of her comments to be odd but that one was as Susan said, out of bounds. It was not remotely funny.

My husband has not yet met her but will at a party soon... It will be interesting to see how he reacts to her. I doubt he will talk to her at all (cold shoulder is his preferred treatment vs. my confrontational style...)

I really appreciate your responses as I want to say something but didn't know the words. I think it is very important to tell someone like that how her off-hand remark could hurt someone if it makes them think an allergy is not serious.

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:00 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:39 pm
Posts: 2945
Location: Toronto
Good advice from Alison's Mom, Susan.

You may want to add that, especially with students, this kind of joke fuels the perception that peanut restrictions are an inconvenience to be submitted to grudgingly. Whereas in fact, what they're really there for is to protect fellow allergic students.

People sometimes think this kind of joke is perfectly innocent. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

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Allergic to soy, peanut, shellfish, penicillin


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 5:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:22 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Houston, TX
I really hope you say something. Make sure that it isn't an "escalating" comment, but mention that joking about such allergies around youngsters does belittle the seriousness of it. Remind her of the girl who got suspended for eating peanuts and then shaking a little girls hand to "test" if she was really allergic...these incidents are bred from this minimizing attitude of adults around them. I mean, you wouldn't say about her child, "Then maybe we can play russian roulette with mr. _____" Same thing!

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Daughter, 10 - NKA

Daughter, 3 - peanut, tree nuts, crustacean, dust mites, cottonseed oil, sunflower oil, mangoes, mustard, and very mild outdoor allergies, eczema, asthma

Son, 2 - asthma, mild eczema, peanut, mild soy, mild egg


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 10:12 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:05 am
Posts: 641
Location: AB, Canada
Incredibly rude and tactless on her part. Proof that some people just don't get it! I'd be furious.

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DSs 7,7,9 all PA


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 10:48 am 
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Site Admin

Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:39 pm
Posts: 2945
Location: Toronto
True Becky. But it's like there are stages of this:

1) Furious
2) OK, what to I do.
3) Educate - being firm about the importance.

It's stage 3 that brings them around.

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Allergic to soy, peanut, shellfish, penicillin


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 10:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:05 am
Posts: 42
Location: Winnipeg
Becky wrote:
Incredibly rude and tactless on her part. Proof that some people just don't get it! I'd be furious.


I totally agree!

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Son (09.08.07) - Peanut/Nut Allergy, Dogs, Cats and Eczema
Daughter (16.02.09) None that we know of


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