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 Post subject: Another Party!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:11 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
Even after meeting with the teacher and the principal and hesitantly agreeing to food at the Halloween celebration, not at the Christmas celebration and agreeing to discuss Valentines Day at a later date...

I get a note from the teacher asking if she can serve juice and cookies to the class on Thursday as one student is moving away. What will the next reason be?

When do they follow the legislation and reduce the risk of exposure to allergens?

I really resent being ask to allow the school to toss the legislation out the window, is any other legislation treated this way?

Their wants over rule the law? What does that teach our children?

When is it OK to work with the school and when are they emotionally blackmailing us? The teacher will be disappointed...the students will miss out...grrr :twisted:

OK, rant over.

Honestly, I don't think a week has gone by that I haven't had to discuss my daughter finding wrappers in her desk (French class/shared desk-no other class is 'supposed to be eating there), her being asked to tidy up her absent classmates desk and finding lunch wrappers, discussing safety rationelle of having her move to a safe table for lunch but not snacks and being segregated during social times, the plans for use of food in celebrations, the PTA request to make candy shish-kabobs as a fundraiser...We've only been through the first month!

I feel that if I say No, I may seem unreasonable but honestly, when I look at that list, I feel that if I say yes, next month it will be several more requests. this teacher is very sweet and very nice but I suspect she wants the kids to like her even if it is at my child's expense!

_________________
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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:02 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
I say stand your ground. Threre is a time for compromise and it seems like they are trying to push the limits of your pre existing food agreements with them. We have all said it so many times, but again...WHY does every event need to include food or kids won't feel they've 'celebrated'! Having one child who is not allergic and having been in her class many many times over the years I find the kids don't even eat the food. I don't think I've ever seen them actually want it, they play with it, make a mess of it, take one nibble and then throw it out....!! If the teacher wants to do something special hand out some designed pencils etc. from the dollar store.

I would be furious about the wrappers in her desk, sharing a desk seems risky. Why do kids need to eat during class anyway????

Is it just me or from all the parents comments on the forum it seems like it is the teachers/staff who seem to have the issue with foregoing food events. Do they really think that the kids if given a fun option not including food the kids would really miss that cupcake or cookie so much? This Halloween we asked our daughter if she would like A. for one of us to take her trick-or-treating or B. to stay home with her brother and my husband and I would make a scavenger hunt with treats but not including candy. She instantly said a scavenger hunt and has hounded me daily now as she tries to guess what we might hide. Yet at playgroup the day of our son's 2'nd birthday a couple weeks ago I took bubbles for the kids. At least 4 parents exclaimed 'what no cake'. I explained that we thought bubbles would be a fun treat instead of cake (remember, these are also toddlers and it's in the morning!!!!!). Still parents were almost confused and said surprised 'really, you didn't bring cupcakes or cake, but it's his birthday". I really do think it is the adults with the issues.

GOOD LUCK! Good thing you have the weekend to plan your next move. Just keep that Angry Bear costume in the back of the closet until Monday!

:lol:

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
He's moving out of Canada, they could give him an address book! They could make a memory book.

I need to talk to my husband (so he feels involved :roll: ) but I am going to tell the teacher No. I am also going to talk to the principal about the amount of food in classes and nip this right in the bud. We are talking grade 3 not JK.

There is a limit and this momma bear has reached it.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 1:00 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:30 am
Posts: 57
Location: Northern Ontario
Some teachers do "get it" A few years ago in my daughters class for easter the teacher requested donations of plastic easter eggs and small stickers/toys that could be hidden in them. Parent volunteers hid the eggs during recess and the kids had a blast finding them. No food items were to be hidden in the eggs. Maybe this teacher need some other ideas for rewards and celebrations that do not include food. For halloween she could give out stickers or glow sticks.A going away party could include a photo album or drawing from each child. Unfortunately our food oriented society will take many people like you to change it and change is slow.

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allergic to all tree pollens except grass, hazelnuts, fruit and some veggies


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
Yes, last years teacher was great. I will offer many suggestions and categorically state that I do not want the event to be food oriented.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:41 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:24 pm
Posts: 62
Location: NB
I really wish we could examine why we feel the need to celebrate events with treats. Especially in light of promoting healthy lifestyles. The school as part of the cultural community could set such a great example of learning to make the changes that represent making healthier choices.
IT is the grown ups not the kids ! Part of setting the community culture would be working to find ways to include everyone, whether they have allergies or diabetes or other needs to be taken into consideration. How can we frame this so that schools see themselves as agents of positive change, and use it as an opportunity to let kids lead the change by coming up with their own healthy, inclusive ways to celebrate events.
Jo


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:16 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
jomatt, You are very articulate!

Susan - Good luck tomorrow. I really do hope that the teacher is receptive to your suggestions.

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 5:47 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
Gack, had an oppourtunity to advise husband and he wanted to find a way to let this happen (cave). :roll:

Why do I involve him in these things? Oh yeah, because I wouldn't want to be leff out of important decisions (grrr).

So now, I need to send a letter advising that I am not happy and a bit confused as to what to suggest as a classmate has confided in R--- that he has an allergy to soy.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:26 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
I'm working on a phrase that I can use over and over again. Something along the lines of, "Children do not expect every event to be food oriented, we train them over time to come to expect this."

Any suggestions?

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:30 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
I decided to respond like this:
Quote:
I understand your desire to have the class do something to recognize Di’s leaving. I must say that I am not thrilled that you have chosen to do this with juice and cookies.

As you can imagine, it is difficult to find a cookie that not only doesn’t contain one of R’s allergens as an ingredient. It is even harder to find one that isn’t run on a production line that doesn’t run other products which contain any of her allergens.

Dare Breaktime Ginger or Oatmeal cookies used to be fine but we stopped buying them because R didn’t like them very much.

I am concerned about suggesting them to you as N has confided in R that he is allergic to soy. I don’t know if he is or how severe his allergy might be. They did contain soy.

If you choose to go ahead with to juice and cookies please advise me so that I can come to the school Thursday morning and read the ingredient label of the snacks.

I would respectfully suggest that instead of feeding the children cookies and juice, you have them make a memory book for him by taking a photo of each child pasting it onto a page and having the child write something about D on the page. Something they liked to play with him, a funny memory, what they will miss the most etc. and you can keep a picture of him in the classroom.

This is an opportunity for the class to learn a bit about --- it’s geography and weather etc.

Please advise me of what you choose to do.

and follow up with an e-mail to the principal,
Quote:
It seems that I need to again correspond with the school regarding snacks in the classroom. I am not sure if classroom snacks fall under rules regarding the number of trans fat days at school. Could you let me know what the rules are in that regard?

I would like to send you a copy of the note I am sending to Mrs. H to keep you informed of all incidents involving food as even with label reading there is no 100% safe food. When the school decides to increase the number of times the children eat, the school also increases the risk of possible exposure to allergens and this risk of a reaction.

Children do not expect every event to be food oriented, we train them over time to come to expect this.

I hope you will be able to get back to me this week about the e-mail I sent last week regarding food wrappers in French class.


We shall see how this plays out... :roll:

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:28 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
Susan I don't even know what to say except that your letter gets the point across , hopefully finally the teacher will 'get it' also !! If you don't put your foot down now then I think this teacher in particular will see your inactions as approval for further such food celebrations. I really I am at a loss for words (shocking I know) as it just seems in my mind to be such a no brainer....I really can't say anything better than jomatt previously posted.

Quote:
I really wish we could examine why we feel the need to celebrate events with treats. Especially in light of promoting healthy lifestyles. The school as part of the cultural community could set such a great example of learning to make the changes that represent making healthier choices.
IT is the grown ups not the kids ! Part of setting the community culture would be working to find ways to include everyone, whether they have allergies or diabetes or other needs to be taken into consideration. How can we frame this so that schools see themselves as agents of positive change, and use it as an opportunity to let kids lead the change by coming up with their own healthy, inclusive ways to celebrate events.

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:08 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
I agree! So I've posted it as a discussion topic.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:39 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
How did the teacher respond?

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:18 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
She called to see if she had some how offended me. See felt that she was simply following the protocal. as per our meeting, by contacting me in advance. :roll: I told her that as per our meeting, I was suggesting an alternative to the food.

I told her that I was not neccesarily upset with her as just very disappointed that food seemed to still be so prevalent at school. I had hoped that by grade 3, this might not be the case. I told her that I had been dealing with other food issues not related to her class and that it seemed I was dealing with this issue every week since school had started.

She thought our daughter could just bring her own food but I explained thatthis is the age when children become clique-y and I didn'y want her differences pointed out unneccesarily. I just didn't think this needed to be about food.

I left her to find a solution and to advise me if she is indeed going ahead with the food.

I don't really expect to hear back. I plan on dropping by before school starts Thursday to see what she has planned.

I told her this wasn't me mad...she hasn't seen that, yet. 8)

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:13 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
I popped in this am. She seemed surprised that I would want to read the labels of the juice she planned to offer. :roll:

I advised her that she could offer R one of two flavours but not the third. It contains cochineal extract. I casually mention to her that that is from crushed dried cochineal insects and it can be a source of allergen and that R has not been tested for it so I don't want her having it.

She was so flustered about having to stop her photo copying to show me the juices that it may have fallen on deaf ears but I don't think so.

"Oh, I have time, if you need help photocopying, I'd be glad to stay a while and help out," I say, while smiling sweetly. You can't brush me off that easily! :twisted:

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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