Talking Allergies

Through my online travels to various allergic communities, it seems that there are a lot of people who come in and are all "I HAVE A RIGHT TO PEANUTS YOU ARE ALL JERKS" or whatever. What is that about? Where do you think it comes from?

Where does it come from? Different places.

First - most are just trolls. Spring vacation comes around, and they need to get some action. It's kind of like the old phone calls people used to make as kids - back before Call Display put a stop to it. "Is your refridgerator running? Yes. Well then, you better go catch it." Ha ha! Now - those nasty calls come on the internet instead.

Then, there are people who really do feel it's "their right". And, as a person with a peanut allergy - I feel we need to have intelligent conversations with those people. Sometimes they have valid points. We can't expect them to *hear us* if we are not willing to *hear them*.

I guess. I mean, I get a LOT of hate mail. But then again, I'm a pro-choice atheist socialist. So I expect that. I just didn't know that PEANUTS were such a polarizing issue. I understand why allergies are a huge deal for people who have them. I do not understand why they feel like a big deal to those who don't.

(Not that people without allergies shouldn't CARE about the issues, I just mean that I find it odd that they care enough to start flame wars on message boards)

The only *flame wars* I recall seeing relate to peanut bans. And, if you are going to ban a cheap and popular food there are going to be people who get angry. Many of them actually think people with food allergies are the only ones asking for and getting anything special done for their health needs. That's absolutely not true. For instance, an elementary school that I know got a student in a wheel chair. Before the student started the school they made one bathroom wheelchair accessible, and three exits from the school. Each year they made a bit more of the school accessible. That was tax dollars spent on that. Nobody (including me) objected to that expense. But, the reality is that a lot of people were affected by the health needs of one child - through our wallets. The subway stations of my city re-did the platform floors (many years ago) so that blind people using white canes could feel the difference in the floor when they get near the drop off. Again - this is an expense that we all share to keep a few people safe and alive. And most people don't object.

Food allergies as a *special need* is relatively new to most people. Also, I bet if you searched other health boards (learning disability, physical disability, etc.) you would find they get flamed there too.

When it's on the internet, a moderator should remove those posts. Otherwise, it's best to just ignore them. When it's *real people* in the *real world* then, you can't ignore you do have to deal with it.

When there are references to Darwin - things like that - I tend to thing it's just trolls making their nasty phone calls. Be a duck. (Let it roll off your feathers like water. )

Heh. I like you, AnnaMarie. You are reasonable and smart!

Sssshhhh! Don't let anyone know. I'm trying to keep it all a secret.

Too late, we all know now.

I know years ago before internet and all.
I was told " take a Holiday from your allergies "
That was rather lame and ignorant,
So I agree people can be nasty like when they used to phone
and ask" if you knew Joe Walls " and the reply would be "no "
"then who is holding up your Roof "
Ha ha
Rather lame, right?

This week I am exhausted, and that's probably why I've allowed a few comments to really get under my skin.

I was talking to a friend of mine, and she mentioned that her son had told her I offered him a doughnut when he was at my home. She was surprised that I had doughnuts because of my allergies. I told her that I had checked out the company and they do not have any nuts/peanuts/sesame seeds in any of their products - BUT they don't gaurantee they're safe because they don't check with their suppliers.

Then she said "If you were really allergic you'd be dead by now!" Apparently (according to her) I don't understand how even a tiny little trace of peanut will kill a person with a peanut allergy. Well, in reality - I do understand that. In fact I am that sensitive with sesame seeds.

Her next comment was "You should be thankful you don't have cancer". Well, I am thankful for that - but it doesn't make my allergies any easier to live with. There are about a million diseases I'm thankful I don't have. But, you know, one of my brothers had a form of skin cancer and he went for day surgery to have it removed. Now he goes a few times a year for a check-up and that's it. Everything is fine. Maybe I'd prefer that kind of cancer rather then allergies.

Then, she said that I should stop letting my allergies run my life. EXCUSE ME!!!! I bought the doughnuts. I ate the doughnuts. How did THAT result in allergies running my life?

While she was carrying on with THAT discussion - I just said that I still have half a box of doughnuts at home and I was going home to eat them.

I think what really has me ticked off about this is that I never even mentioned anything about allergies. She brought the whole conversation up - and it was like one attack after another.

********

Rant over! Time for me to go do something a little more useful.

I understand in my own way Anna Marie
Yesterday, the lady I look after her family decided to have Chinese Food, the night before.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I am sensetive to something in it.
She seemed not get it...She was defending herself.
I was getting all itchy and felt weird in my head, so I left and showered,washed my clothes and took some medinice.
Thank God they always put out the garabage and do the laundry everyday.
I told her next time they have Chinese to please phone and I will not come over.
A few days of me not working will not hurt her.

I have seen people over the years put offending messages on message boards (at least the one I moderate), but we just delete them (to make sure only moderators see it and not any of our members as they can be upsetting). I have also seen it in person where some people are so offended by the fact that they cannot have fish when they are around me or that they cannot send their kids to school with a peanut butter sandwich.

The one thing I have found in discussing with them is that they do not know enough to judge. One guy once thanked me after I explainned my fish allergy to him as he will no longer oppose to his son's schools' peanut ban. No one had ever explainned the "human side" of allergies before. As some may have noticed, I have no difficulty in writing about my allergies and all the horror stories I have had over the years (too many for my young age...) and when I am in front of someone and I talk about them, I can't help but talk with my heart and tell them the story that applies to their situations so that they can get the point. When you start talking about being afraid to die when walking into a room or telling them about last year's reaction and how you felt, it puts a human face to all those rules that get imposed. People have a tendency to oppose if rules are put together for no reason and that's normal. Our role in all of that is to put a face to the story.

Mylène

I think there is a lot of hostility to banning peanuts in schools because it doesn't allow non-allergic students a clear understanding of what an allergy can do. A school simply bans a particular food (which can be a staple of some children's diets!) without explaining the "whys" to the other students and parents. It also does not address the next child who has a severe reaction to another food product which is still allowed at a school. Schools need to highlight LEARNING about allergies and to protect students with ALL severe allergies (not just peanuts) or there will always be upset or angry parents and students who do not understand why their child cannot take a peanut butter sandwich to school,or why their child's allergies are ignored but another's allergies cause the school to emliminate that food.
Emphasis should be on the parents of allergic children to teach them at a very young age to protect themselves and understand their condition. My children were aware at a very young age; they and myself have severe or anaphalactic reactions to foods or drugs. Allergic people ARE different and the way our society is with food everywhere, allergic children or adults must be aware of all of this to function properly.The children will eventually have to leave their protected bubbles at school and home. Then what?
Thats my opinion.

I agree that children need to be taught from a very early age. My son's school has a peanut ban - and they are also very insistant that the children need to be taught about their own allergies from an early age. (My son has insect allergy, so the peanut ban is NOT for him.)

However, my 7 year old son is being taught about how to safely walk to school. I am not about to assume he has learned enough and just say "go by yourself". He knows all the safety rules. He can tell me all of them. But, when he's walking - his mind is not always on safety, and right now, it isn't all second nature to him. If I left him to walk alone - he'd probably make it to school safely. But, it's a bet I'm not yet willing to take.

This is not intended to argue that peanut bans are always necessary. I (personally) don't believe they are always the best solution. (Though sometimes, yes.) I'm simply trying to point out that what you are referring to as a *bubble* is just the normal part of keeping a child safe while they are learning to do that job themselves.

Bans are necessary. If not, some lunatic will bring some and use it as a weapon. I don't leave it to human race to be intelligent enough to decipher between right and wrong. That's why there are laws; that's why there should be bans.

Up to what age? And for what allergens?