Talking Allergies

Had a "freak out" yelling at a woman (she yelled first, don't I sound childish) at my daughter's ballet class. She'd not cleaned her daughter's hands and then would do nothing to keep her from touching my contact reactive daughter. Apparently "being kids and having fun" is more important than safety. After the incident, to spite me I am sure, she gave her kid allergen laden food immediately before the class, smirking at me. Not accustomed to direct antagonism.

Also, at school, found a child opening a chocolate bar in their "cubby" area. Contraban! Apparently she went back to it after I had left with my daughter. Not pleased that it wasn't confiscated. The risk (thoughts of chocolate covered fingers every where) has made me mental! The "offending" child (which really means parent) has been to 2 of my dd's birthday parties and has been in the same "classes" since the infant room. Am I to accept that they "forgot" or "don't get it"? I can't...

And... the child whose cubby is beside mine, and whose mother WORKS there left an egg carton in their shared space! Never mind the bacteria! One of those paper egg cartons that there is no hope of cleaning. Right where my daughter puts her stuff.

If that isn't enough, her teacher was away one morning. The substitute placed a plate of PANCAKES (egg and dairy) in front of my daughter. She "knows" but really, what if I hadn't been there?

All of this happening at a time when dd has said she doesn't want anyone talking about her allergies anymore. When I am having trouble finding a safe/suitable school for SK next September.

There are honestly days where I don't think I can cope.

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renie
daughter: ana for egg, sesame, dairy, pistachio/cashew/hazelnut. allergic on contact. allergic to soy protein isolate. other lesser allergies (e.g. dogs, dust mites). well controlled asthma. eczema.
son: p-p-p-p-peanuts

You know, some people just suck. I'd like to think that some day charma will even the score .



I've had days like that too. I found the whole preschool, school thing / putting others "who just don't get it" in charge of my girls just way too much. I don't discuss it much here...but we've homeschooled for the past 2 years and love everything about it from allergy safety to lifestyle to education. Educating my own kids is WAY less stressful, and WAY more enjoyable than having to educate EVERYONE else about how to keep my kids safe when a lot of them don't really care.

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DD age 9 1/2 -peanuts, nuts,
DD age 7 1/2 - milk, eggs, chicken, peanuts, treenuts, cats, dogs,
DS age 2 1/2
Husband- asthma, eggs, treenuts, fish, shellfish environmental
Self - penicillan, eurithromiacin, mild laytex allergy.

So sorry you've had a bad week!!!
I often find that people don't get the severity of allergies... Even with my own family, I'm having trouble getting my dad to undertand it's not funny to give an empty beer bottle to my daughter who's allergic to barley, or to tell my mother-in-law I prefer re-washing Anne's dishes because I saw the dishrag being used for pots of yogourt! I can only imagine what it's like to deal with strangers.

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Me - Kim - No allergies
DH Ben - 31 - Allergic to nuts and peanuts, lots of environmental allergies.
DD Anne - 4 - Asthma. Allergic to dairy, eggs, mustard, kiwi, peanuts, wheat and barley... for now...
DS Francois - 1 - No allergies so far...

I agree with all of the above
This past weekend was stressful and I am under the weather with the flu to boot.

Renie- You are in Ontario and Bill 3 should be implemented in your school. Have you concidered speaking to the principal regarding the JK issues?

When can we get all classes incorporated into Bill 3? If it applies to daycares...why not "classes"?

Regarding your daughters request not to speak about it. I am finding that my daughter is starting to feel this way. I have told her that she is just too important for me to copmply with that request. I have told her in the past that I will give her choices as long as they are not dangerous. (she can wear any colour combination but must wear a coat in the winter as well as mittens) In her case people not being aware puts her at risk.
I also tell her that everyone has something ei. I wear glasses and her uncle can't walk.

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb

So sorry to hear about the bad week. I go through periods like that too where I feel like the responsability of caring for an allergic child is overwhelming.

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daughter: 6 years tree nuts, peanuts

Yup, I'm in Ontario. The school (it is daycare and JK) has been reasonably good thus far but obviously, I was not impressed. My hubby and I have a meeting with the super on Monday. (trying to breathe, must remember to be firm but not aggressive).

Wouldn't it be great to have classes safe for our kids too? All the mom & tot, early years centres, library programs... I remember trying to go to a reading time at Indigo once and promptly left - they'd given out cake and milk! to toddlers!

I agree that the allergens are something that have to be discussed and understood. At this point, my daughter is I think too young to see the educational opportunity although we have talked about that. I have told her that for now I will honour her request and shut down conversation about her allergies. Often people aren't tactful about it (what a SHAME! how do you COPE? what on earth do you feed her? I could NEVER live without xxxx...) At not quite 4, I can't support her being the circus freak practically every day... and for family and friends who already KNOW, they need to see her as more than a walking allergy

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renie
daughter: ana for egg, sesame, dairy, pistachio/cashew/hazelnut. allergic on contact. allergic to soy protein isolate. other lesser allergies (e.g. dogs, dust mites). well controlled asthma. eczema.
son: p-p-p-p-peanuts

Firm but not agressive. Hmm, I'm still working on that.
You could simply remind the principal of the allergies; speak of the incidents (food eaten at cubbies without supervision or proper hygiene, substitute teachers feeding daughter her allergens etc.) and remind them that these are life threatening allergens that you are speaking about. You have Sabrina's Law on your side. You could ask them to reiterate their policy and ask how they feel this is working out. Ask them to tell you how they plan to address these issues and then you can tell them if it's good enough. Pick a few key changes that you insist on.

This is so reminicent of our first year, That was 2005-2006 and it wa a huge learning curve but...we've had 1 1/2 school years under our belts for them to get it right. Keep a log of each incident. I had to threaten our principal with leagal action before she took me seriously. "If my child dies I will be too busy dealing with that to deal with you, I am preparing a file now and if that day should come, I will unleash the lawyers on you."
Like I said, I'm still working on the firm but not aggressive.

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb

This scares the heck out of me. I am always hearing about this sort of thing happening... I spoke to one little boy last year who said that his school was 'peanut free' but that people snuk nuts in all the time. I really don't like hearing about this. I want my little girl to have a safe school environment but the more I hear about this, the more I start to think about home schooling... My little girl is allergic to about 18 different things, school just sounds like a minefield.

My oldest daughter ia allergic to Milk, and Pork. She wanted to follow her friend around the public highschool classes (we homeschool). Her friend talked to the princable and he said no but even went so far as to say she cant even attned here.

I find homeschooling far less stressful then dealing with a school enviroment.

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Karen in Ohio mom of 7
Allergic to tons and tons of food as well as perfumes, scented air sprays and cleaners. Hubby to Fish, ds #2 Shellfish, youngest to Eggplant, potato, Caesin, Raw Tomato & spinach.

Yikes Racheal, 18 allergens is a lot!
We are still working with our school to have them stop trying to feed our daughter. That's our one simple rule but apparently it is hard to follow.

A couple things come to mind:
1. If a school has a policy such as a nut ban, they need to enforce the policy. Incidents of breaking the rules should be brought to their attention and I see nothing wrong in asking them what they plan to do to deal with the issue.

2. In an effort to not come across as agressive, I try to explore what they are doing first before issuing my "list of demands". Sometimes, there have thought of it already and are implementing the action, sometimes they surprise me and do more than I would request. That allows me to congratulate them on a job well done, and I need only ask them to concider a few other concerns. I save a lot of time and energy this way.

3. We need to focus on reducing the risk of exposure. When children are small and place everything in their mouths, we need to protect them from their allergens. As they get older, we can relax our grip a small amount because they can wash their hands and keep items out of their mouths. Certain foods smear more readily than others. I have no problem with a 6 year old eating a cheese sandwhich beside my daughter because they know how to eat neatly and not safe. I am not so comfortable with a class full of pizza and no supervision. I am fine with 12 children eating pizza at a party if I am present to ensure they all wash their hands after eating and before any activities.

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb