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 Post subject: emotions and school
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:03 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:24 pm
Posts: 62
Location: NB
Today was such a hard day. I sent my son to school. He wore his new epi belt,
and medic alert braclet and promised his dad to only eat his own food. The school has been supportive but has not had a chance to complete the AAIA resource kit or send a letter to parents about nut free snacks before he started. The good news is they are willing to take the training and the letter will go out. The bad news is my emotions are all over the place. I have concerns, disappointments and do not know what realistic expectations are yet.

I have alternated between snapping at my husband, crying and just trying to pretend that everything is OK. I try talking to friends but they don't really get my food allergy fears. People think that schools are peanut free now, you can't expect too much of the school and you have to make your child responsible and that I worry too much. The reality is I'm not convinced that the people who need to know - know what they need to know. The trouble is when you live outside the food allergy world you just don't begin to understand the rules, risks and facts. I have got to find away to not only manage risk but to manage my own emotions in this area as I will need to help my son learn to manage his own emotions around food allergies. This months article was well timed and I wish I had asked more questions about how celebrations and how my child would be treated.

It feels good to let this out



4 yr old son - anaphlaxic to nuts/peanuts allergic to dogs, cats, trees and grass
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:58 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6471
Location: Ottawa
Your emotions are completely normal! My husband and I are dealing with a school matter and the first couple of discussions resulted in loud voices and hurt feelings. It's hard not to get exasperated when you feel that you have to come up with a decision or absorb too much information...It's just that dealing with life and death issues regarding your child brings out so much stress...it's hard to gauge just what these ther people understandand to trust that they will recognize a reaction and know how to respond.

Don't expect too much out of yourself this week. Try to get enought rest, make simple meals and don't pump your son for information as soon as her gets home. Ask him what he likes etc first ask "allergy questions" later on.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:27 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
jomatt, Who can blame us for being emotional, we are talking about our kids lives.

A big allergy mama hug to you

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:53 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:24 pm
Posts: 62
Location: NB
Thank you both for your kind words, I had no idea that this week would be this rough.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 11:32 am 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6471
Location: Ottawa
It's his first year at school, right?

That's huge! :shock: :cry: :? :wink: :)

Your little guy is growing up...it's a long time to leave him with others and wonder how he'll do. I suspect most parents have anxiety over how their child will fair emotionally, socially, academically- throw allergies into the mix and you've got an emotional powder keg.

Be kind to yourself-and your husband. It's OK, you will get through this.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 10, 2009 2:20 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:24 pm
Posts: 62
Location: NB
It's his first year in Kindergarten and the words " emotional powder Keg" are a great description that I'll use :) Stress does not always bring out the best or bring us closer or make people want to be closer (LOL) This was a good learning experience, I thought I was prepared and I was but you can't put managing emotions on a checklist.
Jo


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