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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 7:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
So this year we're having Christmas at my mother-in-law's home and then travelling to my mother's to spend a few days.

My husband had a heart to heart with his mom at my insistance as she always wants to take them out to a restaurant for a buffet. Our daughter is made to endure 1 1/2 hours sitting in a car each way and then another hour or so of sitting in a restaurant. Last time it was a short visit and that was all that occurred. Understandably, she was upset, for all she could participate, they might as well have had a picture of her in stread.

So, when MIL suggested she host Christmas dinner, I ask my husband to find out what that meant. He offered that we come down the Christmas eve day and stay over, make dinner at her place and then leave late that afternoon for my mother's. All was agreed...

Now I hear that she feels this is too much for us and she wants to be more involved. She suggested that she take us out to a restaurant :roll:. Thankfully, he flat out refused to entertain that idea. What she tjhinks as less stressful for us is actually the opposite.

I will allow her to purchase the produce (how wrong can she go with that?). If she insists, I will allow her to cover the cost of the food but that's it. She hates cooking and sees it as a chore but my daughter and I actually enjoy it!

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 8:49 am 
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Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:08 am
Posts: 78
Location: Halifax
Speaking of extended family, my mother in law was hosting Christmas dinner this year. I called her two days ago to make sure that she read all labels, only to discover that she bought a Butterball Turkey. The label clearly stated "may contain milk". She said she never thought turkey would be cross contaminated and so did not think to read the label. Needless to say, my husband was not impressed. She still offered to make a safe dinner but hubby has lost all confidence and now I am tasked with making the entire Christmas dinner (alone) from scratch and transporting it across cities.

I wish we could stay overnight, it would make things so much easier, but all our family members have pets, (husband and daughter severely allergic to pet dander), with the exception of my husband's parents. His dad smokes heavily though, and our little girl's asthma can only handle a few hours without flaring up.

How do you get family to understand the severity of your child's condition? Does anyone have experience with that? Is there a "polite" or "non-aggressive" way of suggesting that someone quit smoking or make a real effort in reading labels? It's so frustrating... I have come so close to threatening that they will never see their grand daughter again but it will make it worse. They already think I'm a food Nazi...

Noha

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Daughter: ana to milk, eggs, peanuts, allergy to pet dander, asthma, eczema
Husband: ana to aspartame, shellfish, allergy to pet dander, eczema
Myself: asthma
http://www.allergymom.ca


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 11:35 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
We've had several anaphylaxis reactions over the years and I let them know about it. My husband has told his parents years ago (when dd was 2 1/2) to stop putting out the cheese and serving pizza when she's visiting. It might be how they dealt with kids in the past but she needs to be included or they will lose visits.

Her psychological health is more important that theirs. Yeah, it's blunt wbut it's the wake up call that people need. You can soften it by pointing out that this is a difficult conversation to have but it's because you love all parties invloved that you need to discuss it. Remember that they love you, they just need some educating. Stress actualy helps retain information so don't hesitate to stress them out..a bit!

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 5:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:24 pm
Posts: 62
Location: NB
I never thought holidays and family's would be such a strain. It is hard for my family to accept that our son will be eating his food, including a dish we bring from home. I think Christmas puts a real strain on families with food allergies. Food is everywhere and it pops up unexpectedly everywhere you go. It is amazing what food can do to complicate family relationships - I would not have believed it if I hadn't experienced it myself.

I think all this means that we need to really take extra good care of ourselves during this season so that we can cope with whatever comes our way.

Ps I say this because I let out a slip when another school parent (my son's former preschool teacher) told me that theywere asked to bring in candy for a special event that I did not know about yet. I ended up sputtering something to the effect that I just wished everyone would keep their bloody food at home. Then I heard myself and apologized for being so grumpy sounding. I am SO full of holiday cheer LOL
Jomatt

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Son - Anaphylaxis to peanuts, treenuts, allergic to cats, dogs, grass & trees


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 12:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6429
Location: Ottawa
Food is such a big part of our culture that people don't even notice that they're offering it! Oh and candy = food is a hard equation for many as is drink = food

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2009 1:22 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:06 pm
Posts: 217
Location: Terrebonne, Quebec
This is my first year dealing with severe allergies. Last year we didn't even think about it, but now that our daugther is starting to eat what we eat, the dinner at my fathers has become a nightmare. Buttery mashed potatoes, Butterball turkey, shortbread cookies. Luckily, they are very understanding that I will be bringing her food from home and they know all about cross contamination, but it will be an addventure trying to keep a one year olds hands off all the fun tasty things lying around! This year, the desserts will be served off the kitchen counter, not a lower table like last year, and i'll be bringing a plate of safe cookies for her to have one if she wants (hers will leave the house in a ziploc bag of course). The good news is so far, everyone that's tasted the shortbreads from the latest AL magazine has a hard time believing that they are dairy/egg/pn/tn free!

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Daughter 3.5 years) - Dairy, Eggs, Peanuts, Sesame, Beef; asthma and eczema
Daughter (2 years) - Peanuts Eczema
Son (7 months) - Contact allergy to something food undetermined


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