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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:49 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 26, 2009 12:05 am
Posts: 644
Location: AB, Canada
A well meaning neighbour dropped by with cupcakes last night (beer and bacon ones from a leftover stag - YUCK). Anyhow, DH gave the usual 'sorry, our kids have allergies, we don't allow baked goods in the house'. And she said 'bah, no one is allergic to bacon!' and handed him the box. Of course, they're going directly into the trash.

DH thinks it doesn't matter, and it's easier than a big confrontation (we were in the middle of supper and I had a barking dog corraled in the laundry room), I think No means No, and although we've been neighbours for close to a decade with no exchange of food, I don't want to set a precedent.

I'm probably being crazy. What would you have done?

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DSs 7,7,9 all PA


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 10:57 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
Last halloween neighbors were going out so they dropped by with two (closed) bags they'd filled with candy for our kids. I opened them and both bags were full of Reeses Cups and O'Henry bars. I threw both bags in the garage garbage. :|
After the fact I wished I'd gone through an uncomfortable (but quick) moment and never taken it. Next time I think I will just say I appreciate the thought but not take it at all. I also don't want to give mixed messages that it is in fact ok for their food to be fed to ds or to come into our home. People have great intentions ....I just need to practice gracefully declining.

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DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 2:44 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
Becky wrote:
'bah, no one is allergic to bacon!'


Pretty sure that someone is allergic! I don't think I would have taken them because we had a neighbour like that where we wanted to make a sign that "No means no!" for all the things he thought we would want over the years. Thankfully he moved.

And don't people know that you take those party leftovers to work where they'll eat anything? :wink:

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:10 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:37 am
Posts: 1523
Location: Alberta
I haven't yet, but I wish I had thrown out the Oatmeal To Go from the Welcome Wagon that had egg in it when we moved and not put it in the cupboard where our dd found it. :frightened
On the upside, we learned that using the epi pen is not as scary as it seemed.
When offered food, we politely decline and give out reason and if they persist, we tell them we will throw it out. People need to get this and they sure won't unless we educate them.
As a family, we decided that dd deserves to have at least one place in the world that she can count on to be safe, although we all know where the epi-pens are.

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Myself - Seasonal, cats
dd-asthma (trigger - flu) anaphylactic to eggs, severe allergies to bugspray and penicilin,pulmicort
ds-Seasonal, cats and OAS
dh-allergy cats, bugspray and guava, outgrew egg allergy


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2011 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:40 am
Posts: 423
Location: Alberta, Canada
I have taken stuff I cannot have (a now long time friend brought over fresh baked cookies when she moved in next door) I could not have them but in that moment I did not want to hurt her feelings. After that I did feel that I was wrong in taking it and made a point to explain to her about my allergies. It would really be best to only say no and explain.

People can be allergic to anything I am allergic to bacon (unless it is turkey bacon :abduct )

I am not a good pot luck... type of person even with out allergies I don't want to eat food from other peoples homes. If I think too much about what happens in a kitchen/restaurant I would only want to eat at home. :frightened

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Me-Allergic to Peanut, Tree Nut, Coconut, Shellfish, ASA and Asthma
My Husband and Children No Allergies


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 7:44 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6456
Location: Ottawa
It's hard to imagine anyone who would feel comfortable bringing me food, would not know about our food food allergy situation.

If they didn't know about the food allergies, I would thank them for their intention, explain why wecan't accept them and suggest they keep them. If they pressed that we accept them, I would accept and advise that dh would share them with his co-workers.

If they knew about the allergies and still offered food, I would say something positive about the item and remind them of why I can't accept it. If they pushed it on me I would raise an eyebrow and keep my arms at my sides.

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2011 10:40 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
_Susan_ wrote:
If they pushed it on me I would raise an eyebrow and keep my arms at my sides.


:goodidea Susan. Why do we feel we have to accept something that we do not want and could hurt a family member? Others not listening are the rude ones - not us with out arms at our sides!

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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