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 Post subject: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6463
Location: Ottawa
Dd mentioned yesterday that a classmate of hers (grade 5) told her that her mother said she didn't think it was fair that said classmate couldn't bring peanut butter to school because of dd. :roll:
My daughter didn't know how to respond. She said she was feeling angry, sad, humiliated, frustrated, that she felt guilty but also felt helpless since she didn't want the allergy, didn't make up the rules and had no way of changing either.

I explained to her that it was the principal who made the rules, not me and not her. She said the girl also said all the allergy kids should be put in one class. I asked her if that would work seeing as most were in JK/SK and grade 1 (I got a laugh).

We talked about the little boy in her class who truly hadto bring peanut butter for his lunch (he has special needs, too) and how he gets to ask someone to go down to the office to eat lunch with him.

I encouraged her to simply tell classmates who say things like this that it is a matter which they should discuss with their principal.

I spoke to the principal today and she was glad that dd was able to speak to me about this. She made the point that those few students who are insensative abou this are also insensative about other issues as well. She will deal with this student.

Tonight is meet the teacher/program night...part of me is hoping that the classmates mother will attend 8)

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:16 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
First off :cry: for DD! How hurtful. Good for you to point out that it the school/principal who set the rules.
I have to agree -
Quote:
She made the point that those few students who are insensative abou this are also insensative about other issues as well.
How sad as you know such behavior is taught at home (in most cases). I'm glad that the principal will deal with this as it is not acceptable and hopefully can be used as a good learning experience.

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 4:21 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
_Susan_ wrote:
She said she was feeling angry, sad, humiliated, frustrated, that she felt guilty but also felt helpless since she didn't want the allergy, didn't make up the rules and had no way of changing either.


:cry: :huggy

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:15 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:37 am
Posts: 1523
Location: Alberta
:huggy :huggy one for each of you.

_________________
Myself - Seasonal, cats
dd-asthma (trigger - flu) anaphylactic to eggs, severe allergies to bugspray and penicilin,pulmicort
ds-Seasonal, cats and OAS
dh-allergy cats, bugspray and guava, outgrew egg allergy


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:00 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6463
Location: Ottawa
Last night was Meet the Teacher Night. I didn't get a chance to say anything to the teacher at the beginning but I did mention it to her at the end. She said the mother had been there. I missed that opportunity as I was with the other teacher at that time...probably for the best. :verymad

Anyhow, the teacher has her number and I'm sure there won't be any more problems.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 4:28 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
Quote:
I missed that opportunity as I was with the other teacher at that time...probably for the best.
Agreed, probably for the best. :lol:

How is DD? Has she said anything to you since? :huggy It makes me SO angry as it could easily be any one of our children therefore I take it personally as an allergy mom!!! I hope everything else is going smoothly this year, R is an amazing kid who deserves to have a great teacher and a great school year.


....this should make you laugh. I was entering the information from the volunteer forms into the computer spreadsheet today . I kept coming across the 'other' box marked off and parents had hand written in they would send in baking whenever needed or help organize bake sales. I showed the secretary who smiled with me and dum de dum de dum and I typed in 'happy to help with 'school sales' :mrgreen: . (our school has no food treats and no bake sales but parents still insist on trying to send baked goods in...you can tell they don't read any notices :| ). These parents will all wonder why they get a call asking if they will help out with the book fair etc.. :rofl

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:02 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6463
Location: Ottawa
Lol! Thanks for the support! :huggy
R is fine, in fact she's on a high this week handing out invites to her birthday party and she's talked me into a sleep over for 3 girls tomorrow night! (The two little girls we walk to school in the am and a classmate who lives a few doors down.)
She's known this particular girl for several years and this girl is not a nice kid (she's got issues and I do pity her, but still...back off the bullying!) R knows she's notmissing out on any great friendship there!
R's got planty of friends, the boys are mildly annoying in the way that boys who start to like you, but still kind of just want to be your friend are. Her teacher get's it and has stated no food in lesson plans. She a big fish in the playground and life is good. :thumbsup

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 10:35 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
hmmm I'll have to check if one of our families moved to your area as your daughter's classmate's mom sounds like this one from here. She was adamant that a boy with special needs be removed from the classroom because he took too much of the teacher's time :verymad The boy was non-verbal and had the brightest smile and all of the other kids looked out for him and he had a full-time aide - he taught his classmates a lot!

The kicker: the mom that complained went into education. :banghead When my daughter had her for a student teacher I basically told her not to listen to her :roll: (had too many run-ins with the lady and kicked her off the Parent Council)

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 11:46 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6463
Location: Ottawa
Saturday I cleaned out the lunch bag and was surprised that dd had not eaten the Schneiders Smart Snax Tortillas and Salsa that had because she really likes it and she hadn't eaten much lunch or her fruit snack so she must have been hungry... She told me that she couldn't eat it because R- went into her lunch bag and she was afraid to eat anything after that because it would have been contaminated with her allergens (milk, egg, peanuts, tree nuts, legumes-too many to ban everything). This is a boy who is somewhat impulsive and she has had issues with him in the past.
I mentioned it to the administrator today and asked that they have more supervision during lunch time. (it's a small school and 2 teachers roam the halls during lunch) I told her that she could use the wipes to wipe down the outside of the container but have since spoken to my husband. Now, we wil tell her that if someone makes her feel unsafe, she should pick up her lunch bag and report to the office. There she can request an adult to wash the outside of the containers with soap and water and deal with the other student.
I wish we had caffeterias because then the students would be supervised. :verymad

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Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:26 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
That is not good. :oops: Did DD eat anything? That is not fair to feel so unsafe you can't eat your lunch. Could her lunch bag be put in the teachers' cupboard or on top of a filing cabinet in the room? I guess if someone had gone into her bag there is no way to know if he touched the containers or opened them :| . Does DD have a zipper pouch in her back pack where you could store a couple extra safe granola bars for 'just in case' circumstances?

BUT... :thumbsup Way to go to 'your' R for realizing that her lunch may have been contaminated, hopefully it won't happen again and IF it does that someone is able to make sure the containers are cleaned so she is able to eat.

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:37 am
Posts: 1523
Location: Alberta
Susan, you said
Quote:
Now, we wil tell her that if someone makes her feel unsafe, she should pick up her lunch bag and report to the office. There she can request an adult to wash the outside of the containers with soap and water and deal with the other student
I think that is a very good idea. :huggy to your DD

When we moved here the elementary school had the kids watching t.v. while they ate. Movies--Disney mostly (I think they watched more movies in some classrooms than at home....+ we are not fans of eating in front of t.v.s - how do you learn manners?)and there was a grade 6 student in each room while a staff member roamed. I did not like that at all. It changed somewhat since (the kids came home w/a story -ambulance etc)...to the teacher staying in the classroom and they kept the helper as well (my son was one later) - now the school only goes to grade 4 so I have no idea how things happen now..... and I believe it mostly depends on how that particular administration interpets things and administration changes like the wind.

In some school divisions here in Alberta, people are paid to supervise (parents) lunch and the following recess. I know of some that those people have been doing that job for years and have never had any training of any kind whatsoever. I ask them every year and get that same answer :dungetit but I used to be the person standing in the playground with 400 kids and no other adult calling the office asking where the supervision was in one division. I guess having children late in life give a person a really long time watching the schools...I heard lots of stories from friends families before I had kids...so my school history is long....now I listen to families stories about grandchildren.

Bullying is such an issue all the way around......everywhere in so many different ways. We have many discussions in our house over the years.

btw Susan , what do you consider a small school?

and walooet said
Quote:
kicked her off the Parent Council
didn't we discuss this once and I thought that couldn't be done? Which reminds me of this...not parent council but division board meetings
http://www.psd70.ab.ca/OurDivision/News ... ement.aspx

I need to think of a question.......because it counts how you question things. any thoughts?

_________________
Myself - Seasonal, cats
dd-asthma (trigger - flu) anaphylactic to eggs, severe allergies to bugspray and penicilin,pulmicort
ds-Seasonal, cats and OAS
dh-allergy cats, bugspray and guava, outgrew egg allergy


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:31 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6463
Location: Ottawa
:huggy You guys are the best!

AA-there are approx 266 students at her school.

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Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:37 am
Posts: 1523
Location: Alberta
That is little, to me too.

_________________
Myself - Seasonal, cats
dd-asthma (trigger - flu) anaphylactic to eggs, severe allergies to bugspray and penicilin,pulmicort
ds-Seasonal, cats and OAS
dh-allergy cats, bugspray and guava, outgrew egg allergy


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:34 pm 
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Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6463
Location: Ottawa
Yes, it goes up to grade 6 and all of the teachers and administration know all of the students. I can simply say a child's first name and the administrator know which child with that first name ould be in my daughter's grade and class.
The problem is that it's hard to raise any decent amount otf money with fundraisers...but we don't really need much!

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: allergies to some tree that flowers in May
Cat: allergic to beef, pork and lamb


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 Post subject: Re: Classmates-Ugh!
PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:23 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
alberta advocate wrote:
and walooet said
Quote:
kicked her off the Parent Council
didn't we discuss this once and I thought that couldn't be done?


Technically I didn't kick her off the parent council - just the Executive. She had only joined to put it on her resume to get into the faculty of Education. She attended the first two meetings and then never again and did not ever explain why she was absent. When the elections came around I essentially said she was not welcome as long as I was President. If she had read the constitution she would have known that by missing three consecutive meetings she was off the Executive. That was just rude that she never explained why she wasn't attending but it was unforgivable to me for her to say that a child with special needs should not be in the school - her wording was disgusting.

Susan - sorry that your daughter is again having to deal with a situation in her classroom. Clearly there is more supervision needed.

Alberta - last week I rode my bike to my daughter's school and since it was recess I rode straight to her and her friends. Then I gave her a plastic bag with her phone in it --- afterwards I realized that not one adult questionned me riding up to the kids nor me giving a bag! Turns out the supervisor did see me but didn't even realize it was me. Since it was 8th graders I think they figure the kids would have ran the other way if they didn't know me but it was still odd. There were a lot of parent volunteers that day for a special event but just struck me as odd that I was not questionned. When I was supervising outside I often confronted adults!!

_________________
me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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