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 Post subject: kissing - "allergy safe"
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:09 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:38 pm
Posts: 926
Location: Oakville, Ontario
My son is nearly 12 (grade 6), and I thought I still had lots of time until this would be a concern... A sweet nice girl that my son has known since grade 2 has declared that she has a crush on him and "loves him"! My son has always liked girls, but this girl is special (he likes her too), and it seems we should be begin discussing kissing? (Woah, how did this happen... where did my 3 year old son go??) How do parents advice their multiple food allergic children how to safely kiss? My older daughter (almost 15) has little interest in dating boys (she's a horse lover, so boys are second, so I really don't yet have experience with this.) My son, on the other hand, has always liked girls, so I want to talk about this "before" I really need to, and you never know, this girl may decide to give him a quick kiss (or the other way around). Help! This seems so young to me, and I'm not ready for this next stage of concern!

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15 yr old daughter: no health issues
12 yr old son: allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, fish, sesame, sunflower, mustard, poppy seeds, green peas, some fruits, instructed to avoid all other legumes (except soy & green beans), pollen, cats, horses


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 10:36 am 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
It is a difficult discussion! In a way it is like they have to jump to the maturity of the full ** talk because of the ramifications for them. Teeth brushing won't necessarily eliminate the allergens either so they must talk about it with their 'crush'.

I personally have food allergies and my husband would not eat my allergens unless he knew he wouldn't be near me for a couple of days and even then he has gotten out of the habit so he just doesn't eat them.

An even more difficult discussion for the "ick" factor to the child is that semen can be a carrier of allergens.

A good thing is that much of the kissing at age 12 is a peck and that's it. The adults at school often call it recess dating because it often means the 'couple' hangs out together at recess. Granted, there are some youth who are beyond that.

Here is a commercial from Anaphylaxis Canada entitled "First Kiss" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cejHLq3uaik To me the extra education piece on this video is that the boy still kissed her without getting his questions answered!

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:45 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:38 pm
Posts: 926
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Thank you, this is very helpful. The Anaphylaxis video was interesting... you're right, he still moved to kiss her without the information he needed. With our son, if we've eaten something he's allergic to, we don't kiss him... hugs only, or an "air kiss" (as we call it), so of course I know this could be a problem. We talked with him about it, and he understands "hugs are okay". But this will only briefly satisfy the whole kissing/dating thing. I'm sure it will be nothing more than "recess dating" (love that expression :wink: ), but it's certainly an introduction to the conversation we are going to need to have. Thanks for your input!

_________________
15 yr old daughter: no health issues
12 yr old son: allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, fish, sesame, sunflower, mustard, poppy seeds, green peas, some fruits, instructed to avoid all other legumes (except soy & green beans), pollen, cats, horses


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 12:43 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 6:39 pm
Posts: 2947
Location: Toronto
Oh dear. Welcome to the pre-teen years.

This article is from our archives, but still relevant and perhaps helpful: http://allergicliving.com/index.php/201 ... gic-teens/

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Allergic to soy, peanut, shellfish, penicillin


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:31 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:38 pm
Posts: 926
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Gwen, Thank you so much for this link. It's definitely something we need to have a serious discussion about with our very happy-go-lucky, carefree son. It's not going to be easy as he has hit early puberty and has already been less careful within the last year - hence his anaphylactic reaction at our daughter's grade 8 graduation ceremony this past June where he was touching multiple surfaces, and then his face/eyes/mouth, leading to an anaphylactic reaction. Despite requiring the Epipen and 2 days of hives and hours at the ER, he is still not as careful as we would like him to be when it comes to eating and keeping himself safe. And now the possibility of kissing is a new concern. Acckkk!! Right now, they both seem satisfied with just chasing each other around the school yard :wink: . Welcome to the world of "young love" (they both claim they love each other! Holy smokes!)

_________________
15 yr old daughter: no health issues
12 yr old son: allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, fish, sesame, sunflower, mustard, poppy seeds, green peas, some fruits, instructed to avoid all other legumes (except soy & green beans), pollen, cats, horses


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:07 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
Sometimes a teenager will respond to the realization that being careless could mean a reaction when with friends which could be very embarassing.


This is a video about a couple describing what it was like to tell someone about anaphylaxis and also for the boyfriend to hear about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX8qdoEDodg

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 3:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:38 pm
Posts: 926
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Walooet, Thank you for sending along this GREAT youtube video! This is very helpful. I plan to show my son this video as it discusses the kissing aspect (and Valentine's Day is this Friday!!). I'm sure many food allergic young people are aware of the precautions they need to take, and young love throws a whole new dimension on things. Thank you for sending this along... MUCH appreciated!!

_________________
15 yr old daughter: no health issues
12 yr old son: allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, fish, sesame, sunflower, mustard, poppy seeds, green peas, some fruits, instructed to avoid all other legumes (except soy & green beans), pollen, cats, horses


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 3:59 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:00 am
Posts: 1119
Glad you liked it! I have shared it often because it is the rare one that sees it from both viewpoints.

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me: allergic to crustaceans plus environmental
teenager: allergic to hazelnuts, some other foods and environmental


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