Talking Allergies

Beer for a 13 year olds fundrasier! Is that legal? What was the fundraiser for...was it hockey or soccer or some other athletic sport? When it comes to fundraisers it seems that setting a good example for the kids through food, alcohol or whatever seems to be forgotten and it is all about the profits, unfortunately junk food and beer are profitable.

It was a football team. It was really strange, cos people got really upset when I said I wouldn't participate - but to me it just seemed so strange that they would think it was a good idea...and I guess it was because it was a really successful fundraiser. It's funny how everything with kids becomes so difficult, if a kid wants to play whatever sport, the parents have to do so much work to raise funds and organize the stuff, etc, etc. Everytime one of my kids joins a team it is like I get a second job cos I have so much extra stuff to do.

PS. It will get easier as your kids get older to deal with the parent competition about treats, by grade 3 all the moms are burnt out on decorating cupcakes, carving vegetables into cute shapes etc!!

So I dropped DD off at her Montessori school this morning and her teacher pulls me aside, saying she wants to speak to me about something. I walk over and her eyes are as big as moons and she opens up one of two Walmart plastic bags FULL of Disney chocolate treats. I pick one up, start reading the label and nearly choked. Among the ingredients:

Peanut butter
Ground peanuts
Peanut flour.

Then I looked at the product label and in BIG bold letters: "Disney Peanut Butter Chocolate Treats".

It's a peanut/nut free school for crying out loud! I bet this was the same parent who passed out Ferrero Rocher at Christmas time. I usually don't mind the treats for holiday parties all that much, because most of the parents bring in fruits and veggies (and I honestly don't mind giving her the occasional handful of chips), but this parent is just beyond belief. On the snack sign-up sheet for the party, the teacher had written in big letters "PLEASE ENSURE SNACKS DO NOT CONTAIN NUTS OR PEANUTS".

Honestly, what does it take? The entire school is supposed to be nut free! Makes me glad DD is so aware of her allergy.

Wow... Sounds like that parent needs a crash course in the school's allergy policy!! That's quite incredible that someone would do that in a peant/nut-aware school...

Just a little day-dream: I wonder if we could market a special bag for toxic treats... Something bright and colourful with a big X on it that says "FULL OF ALLERGENS - NOT SAFE FOR OUR CHILDREN" or something like that. Then all the teacher would have to do would be to drop the toxic treats in the bag, seal it up (there would be a special seal that couldn't be undone without ripping the bag) and hand it back to the parent at the end of the day - with a copy of the school's allergy policy attached.

Ah, it's good to dream...

K.

_________________
Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma

myfreckleface, thank goodness you have a teacher that is really on the ball and caught that "catastrophe in the making". A school representative really needs to have a word with that parent -- it's either complete ignorance or just plain maliciousness. How has Sabrina's Law been implemented in your child's school? Is there a piece of the legislation that speaks to educating parents etc. beyond a note at the top of a treat sign up sheet that says "no nuts please"?

myfreckleface, you are lucky to have such a careful teacher. My daughters teacher allowed the other children to fill my daughters valentines mailbox with "evil treats" and then told my daughter not to eat it until her mom checked it, but my daughter was still in possession of her mailbox, and "evil treats". Then, the teacher did not even see why I was concerned, and seemed to dismiss my requests that my daughter not have access to "evil treats" in the future. They acted like "the parents sent the treats for their kids to put in mailboxes, not much we could do about that".

This week is school break, my daughter was sick the 2 days following the party, so she has not been back since. I am seriously considering pulling her out of the remainder of the year. I have a few days left to decide. They do not "get it" and they seem too eager to please the other parents that my child is excluded and put in inappropriate situations. I had even written them a "reminder note" at christmas time to remember to keep "treats" away from her, and to not allow parents or santa to give her any treats. My requests are certainly known by the teachers.

Sorry to hear about the ignorant parent. I wnder how much is caught that we never hear about.
How did others fare?
Our teachers have decided to go for non-edible treats. They are a little freaked out right now and feeling overwhelmed.
Our daughter came home with a lovely bag made by inter-twining 2 pieces of coloured paper to create a heart shaped bag. It contained valentines, a heart maze, a heart straw and and many heart shaped erasers.

Myfreckleface, That's unbelievable! Honestly, what are people thinking??? I don't understand how people can send young children to school (or daycare) these days, and not be completely aware of the request for no nuts/peanuts at every single school. However, I know the same thing went on recently at my daughters school - at Christmas time, someone sent in a bag of PEANUT M&M's to decorate their gingerbread houses.

I sent my son off to his Montessori school this morning (he's 4), and talked all the way to school with him about not eating any candy or cookies at school. I said "Eat the yummy foods daddy & I sent in for you" and he was happy with that. We're always talking about his yummy food, and how much he likes his own food. I just KNEW some parents would send in treats to school, along with the Valentine card (I have a 6 yr old daughter, so I know some parents do this). I talked to his teachers when I got to school, but, as it turns out, the school was not going to allow any of the children to eat their treats at school - all the Valentines, with treats attached, were sent home in a bag so the parents could inspect. Of course, my son could not eat any of them, so I just removed them all and gave him a treat he could eat - a lollipop! (I always do this at Halloween too - I substitute candy he can't eat, with candy he can eat) Anyway, he was more than happy with a lollipop. But, I sure wish we weren't always confronted with these scary foods.

Kids get so much candy these days. We still have Halloween and Christmas candy hanging around here. Our kids will never get through the volume of candy they receive. When we go to birthday parties, everyone always gives my son safe candy to eat, but there's just so MUCH of it. All the Valentine candy my son got today is going straight in the garbage -what a waste for parents buying this stuff. Why isn't a little Valentine card enough these days???

Having the children take the food home is in a way absolving the teacher of responsibiity and placing it squarely on the shoulders of the child. How many students are bussed? I know mine is. Does the teacher tell the bus driver to make sure these kids don't eat any candy until they get home? Does the bus driver tell the daycare provider?
I don't think it's reasonable to think a child can reliably withhold from the temptation to eat the forbidden treats.
It's wonderful for the teacher who doesn't want to confront a parent who sends inappropriate treats, the rest of the class who gets to eat what ever junk is sent in, but it's not wonderful for the child who has to carry these treats for the rest of the day only to be told they have to throw it out. Also, could a package open and contaminate the backpack where acceptable treats are stored?

Good points Susan. I wish we could just completely get rid of this constant need for treats at the school. And you're right, we cannot expect a child to take this responsibility and not be tempted. My daughter takes the bus to school as well - and this presumably will be the bus my son takes as well. By the time my daughter got home from school, she had eaten ALL her treats attached to the Valentine cards (she doesn't have food allergies). Isn't that what all the kids want to do? What are we parents supposed to do with our children with allergies?? Can we really expect that our allergic kids are just going to sit there, with their forbidden treats in hand, and not be tempted to eat them?? I want to ban all these unnecessary treats!! Right now, because my son is only 4, I have a lot more control over the situation. But, in the not too distant future, we need to have a 6 year old child in full control?!! That's a very scary thought. The school is allowing this stuff in, and do they really expect these kids to just sit there, and have the self-control not to touch the treats that all the other kids are eating??

I was shocked when my kids came home from school/daycare. It was like they went trick or treating...they had so many treats. I'm not a health nut but the amount of junk they got was ridiculous.

Julie and Laurensmom, we're in Ontario with Bill 3! How do the other provinces fare? I agree that doing away with treats is the best possible situation as far as our children are concerned. Will it make them social outcasts?
I would like to see the schools step up and take responsibility. If they are allowing the 'foods' to come in to the classroom, they need to deal with it. If they had the responsibility, they might choose to discontinue treats. As long as they can hand this responsibiity off onto someone else (as young as 4 years old ), they will allow the treats.
JMHO

We have to remember that we live with this day in, day out, and because our kids are so vulnerable we think about it all the time. Most people still never think about what they are putting in there mouths and their kids mouths - if its sold in a store it is food and OK to eat. (ahh..the good old days...).

We really need Health Canada to step up and give some $ for research and to educate the general public.

I really feel we are about to hit a turning point. Things are changing for the better, look at Toronto changing their policies for community centres/partks etc. That is huge.

We need programs to educate the public, but where is the government in all this? I really feel Health Canada and all the Ministries of Health have dropped the ball - the rate of anaphylaxis is increasing (no one knows how much exactly 'cos their has been very little $ put towards research - anaphylaxis reasearch gets one 1% of the $ spent on diabetes research).

Hey Pamela -

Hang in there - there are some very good things coming out in the very near future that we will be able to use to educate the public (and ourselves)!

1. A great document called Anaphylaxis in Schools & Other Settings (French and English versions) has been sent to all Ontario public schools and will be available for purchase by anyone in the near future.

2. There will be a French and English website based on that document that will be available very soon.

3. There is a eWorkshop available to all (and Ontario public schools are being encouraged to have their staff take the eWorkshop) at http://www.eworkshop.on.ca/cfmx/edu/anaphylaxis/.

So don't despair. Tools and resources are coming. And your patience is really appreciated.

I realize this doesn't touch on the subject of research, but things are being done on that front too. I will dig up my notes on that ... soon.

K.

_________________
Karen, proud Mom of
- DS1 (12 yrs): allergic to cashews, pistachios, Brazil nuts, potatoes, some legumes, some fish, pumpkin seeds; OAS
- DS2 (1o yrs): ana. to dairy, eggs, peanuts; asthma

Wow - after my little guy(4)(PA) returned home from JK with his little treats, he casually mentioned that one parent sent cupcakes. So I asked him what he did - he said that he then took his cupcake to the teacher and told her he didn't think he could have it. She agreed, and took it from him.

Unbelievable! I did take the time at the beginning of the year to have a "training course" for the other parents, and sent notes home about my little man's allergies. At Christmas, I sent candy canes to each child with special treats attached with a thank you note attached, "thanks for being a peanut-free friend". I have posters hung in the class, lunchroom and with his epipen at the office. He wears his medicalert bracelet, and epibelt daily. The class newsletters all indicate that there is a food allergic child in the classroom.

After pressing him for some more details (not too hard), he did tell me that this has happened before on one of his little friend's birthdays. I will take it up with his teacher so she has a "supply" of special treats he can eat.

Funny, either he just doesn't care or understands enough that he knows he cannot have some things and obviously would rather not have them. He has seen the Arthur episode numerous times, and has a couple of peanut books. I don't think he would remember having any reactions as his last one was when diagnosed 2yrs ago.

I am a very proud momma! The maturity of a 4yr old can be amazing sometimes. He did get extra "treats" for dessert, and the rest of my kids praised (ok, gushed) his behaviour.

Thanks for listening! I had to vent to others that understand...